#notmytype

Real Wife Material…

There’s nothing like sitting with someone who has been where you’re going, sipping tea and enjoying something delicious.  Today, prep the tea and crumpets and come sit with one of my best friends.  Hear about the unexpected spouse that God chose for her and the wisdom she gathered along the way. 

Girlfriend to Girlfriend  

What I’ve Learned After 17 Years of Marriage

So as I turned 27, single and selfish, my focus was on me. But God prepares each of us for what we need and when we need it. I can’t say that I was anxiously waiting to be married or looking for marriage when I met my husband. However, I did seldom pray for “that person” that God would bring into my life but I prayed with my own list of criteria that I presented to God for what I wanted at that time in my life. So I would fancy myself praying for a husband that fits my criteria. When I met my husband he was none of those things on my list! So I didn’t see him in a romantic way. But because he was so charming, intelligent and handsome man, I tried to set him up with a close friend that I thought would be a great match. You see, he wasn’t my “ideal” but as I prayed about my list, my criteria for that perfect husband, God showed me his face and it was this incredible person that I was trying to match up with my close friend. I laughed out loud to myself in disbelief but after that day, my feelings for him started to change.

He was not what I would’ve chosen for myself – not in a million years. It had to have been God, or I would have never given him an honest look. He was this skinny, innocently shy, totally honest yet vulnerable college sophomore with no job and no spending money. Plus he was not only a few years younger but he looked 10 years younger. I won’t go into what my ideal was because looking back it’s laughable and a little embarrassing. But God knew what I needed then and what I need now 21 years later. In our 17 years of marriage, we’ve learned a lot about each other and we’ve grown closer as a couple. It may sound cliché to say marriage is work but it truly does take work and great effort.  I will share with you some of the gems that I believe make a beautiful marriage.

Join us for the continuation of this Real Wife Material’s story in our next blog.

They were a part of a contrived team of workers thrown together as if randomly with the goal of boosting sales of the nutri-drink in low income communities. As they strategized and mapped out a plan to penetrate the pilot community, he realized she had quite a brain and the focus that goes along with it. Secretly he felt inspired to be at the top of his game. He devoted more time to doing research in preparation for their frequent meetings. Eventually, he too was looking quite impressive and he hungered for a compliment not only from his other colleagues but her. Still, it seems she only knew one mode: work! Greg from the advertising department sped up behind David as he stuffed his work-bag with papers heading to his next meeting.

“You’re acting strange,” chuckled Greg. “Brah, please do not start your investigative journalism into my life. I’m good!” replied David. “I’m not saying you’re not good but all of a sudden you are super studios and beat everyone to a new idea. Seems you and Charity could well be the team of 12.” David stopped in his track, “Really? That’s how it looks? Man! She is so driven. I have no chance with a girl like that unless I work harder and pray harder. Even then I might not be her type.” “Well, I still say, be yourself and stop trying to do everybody’s job.” “Thanks Man,” said David, ending the conversation with a fist bump.

Although it was his idea to oversee sampling and surveys in the pilot community with Charity, he was exceptionally nervous and eventually asked Greg to come along. For the first time he saw Charity in a different light. She was approachable and warm to members of the community. They loved her as she playfully offered options of the milky drink to children and adults. As David refilled her supplies he finally struck a conversation with her that was not work-related. “You seem like a totally different person out here mingling with other people.” Charity laughed and added “So do you. You’re not usually this quiet.” Greg quickly excused himself, heading over to a crowd of onlooking neighbors. “Give it a try and tell us what you think,” he shouted.

David and Charity chatted for the next three hours on and off as they moved through the community. It wasn’t long before David discovered that the very resolute cheerful Charity was an uncompromising Christian. She explained that most guys from work were “not her type.” He asked if her hard working attitude was intended to mitigate against them. “I never saw it that way, but I just tell myself what I am there to do and then do it. That way I’m sure to achieve my goals.” David was disturbed and taken aback. He felt dumped in with all the “work guys” before he even had a chance. “Work guys are usually after one thing so they can walk the halls chattering with their friends about who they’ve slept with. I’m not interested! “Here you go Ma’am,” said David handing out the last of the samples.

As the three packed up at the end of the day, Greg told David, “Brah, my energy is about spent in this hot sun. I don’t think I’m going to make your event this evening. Maybe you could ask Charity.” “Oh no, I don’t attend those events. Besides, I’m going to a relationship forum at the Jubilee Christian Fellowship this evening.” Greg began to laugh uncontrollably. “What are you over here telling Charity, David? You do know that this is a pastor’s kid and he’s the one hosting the relationship forum you plan to attend?” “David, you never said a word!” Charity felt embarrassed and judgmental. “Be yourself man,” chimed Greg.

“I just didn’t know how to climb out of the pile of “not my type” work guys after being buried so deep.” David reached out a hand to Charity as if to say all is forgiven.