‘Me’-ology

Has there ever been a time when we were more conscious of ourselves? Naturally, we are born selfish, but usually after understanding that you have to share your milk-truck mom with the next child that comes home from the hospital, slowly the message begins to dawn. Of course, we still go on to call everything we see “mine!” Life however, never gets tired of teaching the same lesson at another level of intensity as we mature. Still, we want what we want when we want it and the precise way we want it, or we throw adult tantrums affectionately called “melt downs.” These are fueled by a rigid personal theology that gives no room for anything but the best case scenario. All right, you’re not like that! You’re much more reasonable and tempered. Share this blog with those you know need a nudge.

Could I be like that?

Post a pic of Demi looking back over her shoulder.Lot's of props ...

“All the Single Ladies,” yes you my girls, please beware of this one thing that you are likely disposed to. Selfishness love to partner with single people. I know! As if you don’t have enough to deal with! Don’t take it to heart. Please listen. I have your back. The reason singles are predisposed to selfishness is because you often have yourself as the one you have to please, unless you live with family and actually taken on responsibility for others. When we have a culture that says “Just do you.” How can I blame you! Putting blame aside, if marriage has an allergy it’s called ‘selfishness.’ That’s why I want you to begin freeing yourself of your me-ology theology.

Singleness and Selfishness

Selfishness Illustrations, Royalty-Free Vector Graphics & Clip Art ...

Me-ology is the study of ‘self.’ Consider how much you do for self and how much you consider how self is treated and how ‘self’ feels. Marriage is the exact opposite. It is the coming together of two who are choosing to become one force. In this process there is yielding and conforming for the purpose of unity – Unity as in a single unit. How pliable are you in having someone else share your life, your space…. and even your bathroom! Come on, we are preparing for marriage, aren’t we?

If marriage doesn't end your selfishness, your selfishness will ...

Let’s say you have that figured out, how about your ‘me-alistic’ ways of dealing with conflicts within relationships. You might not feel like talking to the offender until you’re good and ready. Or maybe you just unleash the full brunt of your displeasure factoring in a clean up plan afterwards. There are some of us who scream at the top of our lungs silently and just tolerate until…

Character: Bones of a Strong Relationship

There are some inexplicable features in a person’s character that distinguishes them from others.  It draws you in and makes them miss-able upon their departure.  Something in you is magnetized to them and you come alive! But is a strong relationship much more than an attraction on various levels?

Many things that we like about people can change with the arrival of new circumstances and before long you are introduced to a brand-new person.  Or is it?  We’ve all heard of marriages that were dissolved because a person ‘changed.’ It could be that the person never did change but simply let down his/her guard.

“What makes a person truly beautiful is their consistency of character.  Character is found at the very core of a person – the heart.”

taniacase.com

Character -.

the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual

Oxford Language

What makes a person truly beautiful is their consistency of character.  Character is found at the very core of a person.  It’s what determines what they would sacrifice for and find great delight to do, even though the benefit to them may seem miniscule. 

As a person engages in a relationship that has marriage as its end game, this notable personal feature must be prioritized. 

You might say that’s hard.  How do you know someone’s character? 

The truth is that there is a myriad of activities in our world that can make a person look like “the one.”  For example, romantic acts that he reads out of a play book or duplicated from a friend. It is wonderful that he made the effort to woo you, but the act is not the character. 

Character Detecting

Wait a minute…Detecting godly character…..

There are some tell tale signs of a person’s character.  Let’s start with a big one – Money.  It’s not how much he/she makes.  It’s how he/she spends it.  “For where your treasure is there your heart is also.” Mat 6:21 Your use of money tells what you prioritize and what you value.

How you spend your Time does the same, along with displaying the order you keep or maintain in your life.

How you use your Words will eventually reveal your heart.  “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Mat 12:34

How you handle Disappointments or Pressure, great or small, indicate your heart posture and mindset.

How much he/she Sacrifices for you and the relationship, reveals its value to him/her.

These are heavy enough clues to help you identify the character of persons before investing of yourself deeply into a relationship.

Character makes a man who made a promise to a child, go out of his way to fulfill his word. Character makes a woman carve out time to visit with her aged parent, while resisting all the other seemingly greater demands. Character makes a person prioritize tithing, serving and fulfilling commitments in Church. Character makes a man whose testosterones are urging him to go further sexually, seek to protect the woman he’s with and honor the God he serves. Telltale signs of true character are all over your relationships.

Are you seeing enough character to persuade you that he/she is the one?

Visit taniacase.com to further learn how to build strong Kingdom relationships.

#youngwifelife

***A SPECIAL FOR YOUNG WIVES…BUT A SNEAK PEAK FOR SINGLES.***

The wedding was a major accomplishment! The outstanding and exquisite moments of the day stays on replay in your thoughts. The honeymoon felt like a dream that takes you into a whole new world together. Finally together without restraint. Returning to a home made for the establishment of this union, has many sweet spots. Although life’s demands barge in, the honeymoon continues, except for a few punctuated moments…

“Clearly we are one!”

Everyday living carries with it a fair amount of revelations.

Enters….conflict!

(Parading its proud self down the runway void of applause.) Here is…

Mis-Communication

“How could you get that from what I just said?”

Mis-Understanding

“That’s not what I was trying to say.”

Mis- Takes

“Why are you taking offense at that little thing?”

Each conflict is accompanied by fear. It would do each person a lot of good to identify the fear found in the conflict and confront it in one’s self. Early conflicts in marriage can feel overwhelming and daunting since they are not planned for or even foreseen. The thought comes to mind in the moment, that this situation is permanent and you’re stuck!

Calm….

What you are encountering is common to man and woman. Now you understand how different your backgrounds are and how also different your expectations. The same misplaced issues can benefit you greatly depending on how you handle them.

Communicate not to win the argument but for the union to win. This takes practice and maturity to put aside selfishness.

Understanding that this person you just married loves you and does not have the motive of hurting you, lessens the weight of offense. Motive matters.

Take time to learn each other as a student studies a new subject and understand that there will be a lot of give and takes in the process of the two becoming one.

You are both in a period of great adjustments and this requires giving each other the space to be imperfect but loved. Ladies, he may have a different concept of clean – be patient. Remember not to hyper-correct all things that defy your marital expectations.

Don’t even entertain the thought of going home, you are home!

Welcome to Marriage!

It’s a wonderful work!

‘Me-ology’ Meets a Man

I get it! You are not a “mealist!” Right? Me-ology could never be a part of your theology! After all, you love people and enjoy doing things for people. As a matter of fact you go out of your way to let your friends know that you care for them. There is not a selfish bone in your body!

Great! Now that we have that out of the way, you can relax. We are going to talk about your friends now, so gather all the information you can so you can help them.

You would admit that there is no way of knowing how good a friend you are until you have faithfully walked your friend through good and testing times and remain a true friend. Likewise you don’t truly know that you are unselfish unless you have had opportunity to deny yourself for others. Ironically, a me-alist or me-ologist can truly be helpful to others, but within a set constraint define only by him or her. If only life was this tidy!

It’s been a long time since you have had the feeling that someone gets you like this does. Face it, he is Mr. Fantastic! But Sis…Could your years of “doing you” make it difficult to do “us?”

The Meeting….

The early stages of relationships make little sacrificial demand on a person and besides, both are intrigued by the mystery of the other. The consideration is whether or not he checks your boxes and you his. In between the laughter and compliments, you’re wondering if he is the one. Any me-alistic tendency is well under wraps and your cutest side is always what is seen and heard. You can see that this guy really likes you and you are over the moon. He fills your thoughts and you both cannot stop talking. Your primary focus is making each other happy and this force of “nice-ness” pulls you to conclude that your relationship must step it up to the next level of commitment.

“We are like, really serious about each other. He said he wants to spend his life loving me!”

Break….

Attraction is a strong force!

The Meshing…

You might think that being selfish is just not sharing your things and money with others. However, a deeper level of selfishness is engrained in the heart and expresses itself through control, silence, inexplicable limits as well as self imposed irrational rules. Ouch!

A deeper bond is being formed, but with it comes greater expectations. These expectations are like spirits, present but unseen or heard. They are driving your relationship and you don’t know it. You reason that since he has gotten so many things right, the rest should be breeze. As expectation rises, so does the demand to sacrifice your set ways. The greatest goal is no longer to show my best side but to protect my turf. While the heart is intensely devoted, there is discomfort caused by this person who wants to pull the me-alist from her comfort zone.

Mood: “I literally don’t talk to people when I feel like this.” “No I don’t need your help with this – I must do it alone.” “You know there are certain vulnerabilities we avoid sharing.”This is the way I do life!” “This is my space!” “It’s hard to keep up with your emotional demands. You know I’m not the affectionate type. I told you how I was…why did you expect something else, though.

Compounding the problem: The closer you get to him, the more visible his flaws.

All of us have a tendency to be selfish and self-focused. As mentioned in the original me-ology blog, there is a greater propensity for women who have been single for a long time and live alone. This person has had a lot of experience thinking, planning for, taking care of herself. It’s a huge adjustment to let someone in all the way.

Relationships end unnecessarily simply because the level of adjustment for a me-ologist seem insurmountable and sacrifice too much! It may even appear that this fellow is asking for too much!

Going My WAY!

You might think that this person should satisfy you and make you happy, but that is a tall order for any man to fill. As a matter of fact, he can’t even make himself happy. That God-size void can only be filled by the one who gave you the desire for LOVE. He, Himself is LOVE.

What if we can help you understand that you may just have some me-alistic blind spots that you can work through. Whether the guy is in view or not, begin to check yourself. If you do have a tried, tested and proven friend, ask if there are blind spots that you should work on so that your relationships can be healthy.

Authentic relationships require sacrifice. Sacrifice means it’s inconvenient and sometimes goes beyond what you were ready to give. You don’t have to get it right! However, you have to commit to advancing toward it.

We all have some measure of Me-ology, but we’re after spotting it and making the adjustments. If you’re like me, I could share anything with you but my unprocessed thoughts. You can imagine that this is particularly annoying when I’m clearly displeased but process the problem over a three day period, while the person is waiting for a response. This is unfair and selfish! What does the person do in the meantime? Self-doubt, question the viability of the relationship, fear offending you, decide to withhold from you as well? If we are not careful, we can make a little god of ourselves, which we expect people to worship.

Compromise merges two entities in a relationship. If we are maturing we will realize that there are many ways that things can be done, even unfamiliar ways. Sis…and yes Bruh, don’t get so caught up with you that the ones closest to to are ignored and hurt.

Me-ology is toxic and can kill relationships! Spot it in your relationship and yourself and remove quickly!

Can I Follow His Lead?

Meeting that someone, who is much more than all the other “someones” and feeling like this is home, is priceless!

There is a peace that tells you it’s safe to proceed. 

You’re getting to know each other and learning the nuances of relating to each other.  Some days you can see the future as plain as ever, while others you wonder if you can live with this imperfect human.   How dare him not be made in the image and the likeness of the man that you constructed in your head!

After all, that man is perfect!

Still, this relationship is causing you to get over your more blatant “Meology theology.”  You know the realization that the whole world does not move at your pace to accomplish your will.  Yea…especially if you’re in your 20’S it takes some reckoning.   Not to worry, change is at your door.

Marriage is in view and it’s scary exciting!  Okay, at times it’s downright frightening when you consider how much you have to give up to become one with this unknown entity.  At another glance, you wonder how you could be this blessed to have such a beautiful heart pant after yours.  If you get your eyes off the image of perfection you have constructed in your mind, you can admit that his character is what you have prayed for and desired.  After admitting that you love him and you’re in love with him, I have a question for you.

Can you follow his lead?  A godly woman should seek to answer this question before her heart completely melts at his acts of kindness and his projection for the future.  Before you consider marriage, you have to resolve that based on his core beliefs and persuasion, you can follow him.  As Christians, we understand that the Marriage Maker has made the man the head of the household and the woman his suitable mate.  This places the woman in a place of being very alert concerning who she allows her heart to be tangled with.  If you cannot follow his lead, you will lead a rebellion against him. 

It’s a matter of trust earned.

“How can two walk together unless they agree?” Amos 3:3

You’d be surprised or not that you can easily attempt a coup against this man you love, for the marriage to go the way you see it.  It is crucial to know that you are following the lead of someone who himself is under God’s leadership and agrees that he aims to love you as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for it. 

I recall someone poking fun at a gentleman she considered suitable for me in the presence of my mentor, who snapped and wiped the smile off our faces.  In a strict tone, she opined, “She will not marry anyone who she can lead, or she will!”

“Wow!”

I had to admit that she was right.  I had to marry someone I honor and respect.  His persuasion and moral stance command honor before he says a word. I was confident that I could follow his lead, even when I wanted it my way.  I trusted who leads him to lead our family and our lives.

So ask yourself that question having noticed his consistency of character and devotion to God.  Save yourself the unnecessary trauma.  Consider why you’d be challenged to follow his lead.  Be honest with yourself before getting too attached. 

If your answer is ‘yes,’ happy courting!

Put in the Work Now!

It’s love and it’s beautiful! It’s heart-thumping and nerve-racking, but sweet!  There is a bond, a connection and a feeling like forever is not long enough.  It’s what the movies are made of!  There is the occasional step back that makes you wonder if this is “too good to be true.”  But what more could you ask for when the love is undeniable?

So glad you asked. Let’s stop for just a crucial moment and turn down the background music to really take a sober look at the marriage you passionately desire.  Like any iconic building, marriage needs a strong foundation.  After building that strong foundation, please turn back up the music and let the church bells ring with joyful laughter.

Even before starting the building, please consult the ‘Marriage Maker’ to find out if it is worth your time, effort and emotional investment.   Did GOD give you the nod?  This might leave you feeling lost, so let’s be clear. Very rarely will the voice of GOD thunder from heaven in approval of your spousal choice.  Instead, this requires a relationship already established with Him where you, as His sheep, hear His voice.  In worship when you have drawn close to Him and sense His presence, pop the question and wait.  You might not get a worded answer, but you have started the quest.  He is a good Father who will not give you a stone instead of bread.  God wants you to know who to marry. 

For me, He guided me by His profound peace.  I came to realize that many of my decisions would be made this way since He wants me (us) to know Him this intimately.  God will, in addition, confirm His approval in many ways: some very logical and others crafted just for you. 

The work has just begun!

Not because he or she is the “one” means that it will be smooth sailing!  You both have to empty your trunk of junk from the past,  air your expectations in marriage and make a plan for this new family unit that you can both agree to.  You guessed it…get pre-marital counseling!  By the way, counseling should start when you both decide to pursue each other for the purpose of marriage – courtship. It does not start after you have sent out your “Save the Dates” for the wedding.

This preparation period if mishandled will turn something beautiful into a horror show! Besides the trunk of junk that each person carries into relationships, each has undefined expectations that one may consider is commonly known.  Oh, contrary!

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Pr 4:7    

God is entrusting you to love His daughter or His son and it will require serious adjustments on both sides.  Some things will come naturally for you, while others, you will be taught in the process of learning to love each other.  It is work! It’s not automatic!  The more you are yielded to God, the more easily you will love like 1 Cor 13.  This chapter speaks of committed love, the only kind that marriage should be built on. Note…1 Cor 13 goes where no emotion nor fling can follow. It too takes work!

Draw Us Together…

We’re in London, England on our first anniversary…what could go wrong?

Sorry I asked…

We were chipper leaving the hotel and heading off into the great unknown to make our own anniversary adventure.  Oxford Circus was a buzz and an exciting vibrant atmosphere surrounded us as we delighted in all its architectural offerings.

Admittedly, it was a little dampening when we learnt we could not catch any of our favourite plays in a theatre that day since they were fully booked. Still, if there was one thing we were – it was hope-full.

We shook that off and headed for dinner.  You know, a little fancy restaurant to enjoy fine cuisine.  The restaurant we settled with didn’t look ideal but we thought it might do the trick.  After ordering, we chatted and shared our excitement about being on tour with the band for a month as well as all we would do together.  Soon our Italian cuisine arrived and though not visually stimulating, we were ready for “new.”  We got just that!  Frozen squid in tomato sauce plopped on top of spaghetti, was new. 

Eventually, we gave up on food and decided to browse the vibrant Oxford Circus.  We soon found a struggling Czech Republic migrant who drew this picture with one pencil.  He captured some facial features well and missed others, but we were happy.   

Night was starting to fall and we decided to catch the train back to our hotel, after getting some directions to the station. We soon realised we were lost, very lost! We were lost for hours. All the honey in our moon was gone and we became annoyed with each other. We waved at taxis one after the other and stood confused as to why they ignore us.  Hours passed and it was dark…and hopeless.  We comforted each other, feeling the scourge of rejection. It dawned on us that we were Black.  After praying, waving at more taxis and waiting, a kind taxi driver drove past us and returned.  Interestingly, he dropped us in front of our hotel in under 5 mins. We were so close to the hotel.

As we entered the hotel lobby, we were greeted by band members who added the icing to our ‘anniversary experience.’ They informed us that the tour had been cancelled and we had to find a place to stay by tomorrow! 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

We laughed and laughed! Indeed, we were on a longer ‘adventure’ since we were stuck in England for a month now, with no more concerts.  We decided to make the most of it and ride every wave that came. 

At the end of that night, we ordered room service and had the best lasagna ever!  We celebrated our love for each other and apologized for the moments we lost track of the main things. Looking back over the 21 years of marriage. Our attitude has been a lot like that first anniversary.  We challenge each challenge together as one force and laugh a lot.   

My Expectations….

Courting is an exciting time of discovery and romance, laden with the mystery of weaving two lives together. I remember how keenly we planned our many excursions which strangely erased unfamiliarity and brought us closer together. The task of getting to know each other was the most rewarding job we could have been given. Certainly,  we would do it well...like two nerds with sharpened pencils at the front of the class.

When we decided to upgrade from friendship to courtship, we promptly brought our decision to our pastor. So here was the assignment: get a journal and extensively log all your expectations in marriage and after writing, exchange books with each other. Hmmmm…interesting!!!

While you may call our premarital counseling somewhat of a drive-by counseling, these two nerds took the assignment to task journeying across Jamaica with our journals. Whether with fresh caught fish on the seaside or discovering a castle on a mountainside, we pulled out our Expectations journals (EJ). Discovering each other stirred deep conversations.

Like flipping the pages of our hearts to view the next set of details we uncovered our expectations in marriage ranging from how we want to be loved to who washes the dishes. Dating became fruitful and very interesting.

As I often say, the marriage you’re going to have is already programmed into your heart. It therefore makes sense to unveil the heart unashamedly in the early stages so each gather enough information to know if this is the one worth committing to. Differences are certain, but an amicable conclusion can often be reached.

After honestly and diligently going through a range of topics in our EJ, we were better prepared to tackle the tumultuous early years of marriage, understanding each other’s expectations.

Here’s a taste of a question you’ll tackle in the EJ, “If we have a conflict, how would you like me to approach you?”

After 20 years of marriage, we want to help couples navigate through the premarital stages with the Expectations Journal.

Unlike a plain journal, we have made it special with prompts and pictures that you will make into your own memorabilia, while getting on the same page with your spouse. We have provided a list of potent subjects that premarital couples should certainly discuss before marriage.

Interestingly, we still have our Expectations Journal and carry them on almost every anniversary. We chuckle over want we use to expect and refresh what we now expect. This premarital tool can accompany you on any date.

Get ready! Choose a topic. Write your heart out about it! Exchange books !

You may think you know what to expect!

Enjoy each other!

Order your copy of The Expectations Journal by Tania Case on Amazon.com.

Cherish…

Cherish…to hold or treat as dear; feel love for

For years I have counseled ladies to check for the clear signs that a guy cherishes them. It may seem quite simple and even a little insignificant, but think again. The reason a man cherishes a woman is because he has discerned the level of her value. Without that sense of treasuring you, he can easily mistake your identity and mistreat you.

Let’s find a biblical basis for this claim.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God.” Proverbs 18:22

If the man does not recognize that you are a “good thing” that leads him to increase in favor with God, you cannot expect him to truly cherish you. Your value is lost on him. It is important to identify that quality in your relationship. When you are treasured, you are treated with love, care and caution.

Take a look at one of my favorite Kings – King Lemuel.

“A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

This King understood that to find this woman is rare. He likens her worth to more than that of rubies! Do you think that he understood and cherished the value that this woman carries? Let’s be fair. Notice the woman that this man cherished. She is of noble character.

These words are used to describe the Chayil

woman’s qualities:

strength, might, efficiency, a force like an army, rich in abilities

She is a woman of valor.

So while we advocate for being cherished in a relationship, we equally urge you to possess high character qualities that will make it abundantly clear that you are a daughter of the true King and therefore royalty. Value yourself and you will be setting the standard for how you are treated.

Identifying Husband Material

For the many women who are disappointed in your honest and rightful quest to identify husband material, I’d like to do my best to help you. Your desire is noble and warranted. I understand that you have worked on yourself and have sought to elevate your educational and skill level. You have put yourself together well and have been looking for the kind of man that would match you. He would love you like you deserve to be loved and in freedom you would give the love that you are endowed with in your heart. Somehow, it has been an extreme challenge to find that worthy candidate since those who have the moral stance seem to be void of the financial stamina to impress you. The well-educated men seem to consider themselves the one to be chased and cherished – a gross error! All is not lost, but you will need uncommon wisdom to navigate these waters. Honestly, you may not have the grit for what I’m about to tell you. If you consider yourself a magnet for wisdom, read on!

Fact is that we do not have a shortage of men in the world. In fact, men have a slight lead over women. So what is the problem? Enter a lecture room of a college or university and take a count of females verses male. Enter a church and do the same. You’re getting the picture. Many changes have occurred in society over the years including more fathers being out of the home, school systems structured more towards the learning style of girls and a culture that celebrate male irresponsibility. These are not excuses for men, but look around and ask the questions. As a mother of boys I have had to stand up for them and affirm them in our schools system. Without a strong family base they would have been a statistic!

If you are looking for males at your educational, financial, and spiritual level, the field narrows significantly. Out of those who are educated and financially stable, how many will be godly and purpose driven along with the other character traits that you have on that must-have list for ‘husband material?’

Are you ready for sound advice?

There are many reasons why a woman will not find “husband material,” beyond just a scarceness of the man she has described on her list.

One of the reasons is understanding from the Marriage Maker God that you are the treasure and he is the treasure seeker. Many women have done the seeking and the man has nothing to do. He is then feted and pampered while she does all the work to convince him that she is what he wants. He is still wired to chase, so he continues to look for who to chase. Sis, you have thrown your precious pearls at one who does not know the value of them. When men see what or who they want, they will make chase. Stop giving of yourself indiscriminately with no reciprocal action. You have reserved nothing! So, you are bankrupt after the experience.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.” Prov 18:22

What’s stated in paragraph one should cause you to consider the pool of men you’re choosing from. Does that financial and educational banner which is held high over your head guarantee you success in marriage? What if you have to think outside of that box of requirements and consider the men who are not yet made but are in the making? Some are at a disadvantage for a plethora of reasons. Consider if you may need to cut brothers some slack, who are in the making stage, possessing great qualities and working on actualizing their vision. There are some who will need to have a woman who is a destiny helper to speak into their potential and help position them for greatness. Do you resent the thought of being a part of his process? Having a good job does not mean that the man has arrived. That can change quickly! Who is he without that job?

Here are some take-aways I don’t want you to miss.

God gave Adam a help meet, “ezer kenedgo.” The Hebrew word ‘ezer’ means to rescue or save, to be strong, while ‘kenedgo’ means suitable. This suitable woman comes alongside him with strength that delivers him to the place of greatness. She is not just a passive helper but a strong force. Together they compliment each other and are powerful.

With the constructs of our society, many men would love to find such a woman. One who does not look down her nose at him while he challenges his mountain. We must note that many men are not even trying to progress and will always speak of a dream but will only roll over and sleep some more. Our focus is on the other who are pushing but need more force. Find the one who your force matches, whether he is above, beside or beneath your social status, he will need you.

I remember being annoyed with my husband one year into marriage because of his lack of social graces. “You should know that, though!” I exclaimed. He responded, “Who would have taught me?” I was floored! It was true! Who would have taught this Jamaican man about social graces and the softer side of life. I was humbled and gently accepted my role. He taught me and I taught him and together we grew.

What if you approached your relationship like that? Both will bring something to the table that the other does not have. Together iron will sharpen iron. A relationship is to be developed and nurtured over time. Consistent mutual affections and sacrifice indicates progress.

We’ve just scratched the surface of this topic.

Don’t Grudge her…

Tassia has imagined her love story from as long as she could remember. Though life has thrown her some hard punches, her hope remains buoyant and fresh. Much to the annoyance of her friends she continues to talk about her dream marriage. It’s as if she is as excited about it as she is about her Christian walk. If you’re around her, that fervor will either annoy or inspire you. When she talks about her husband, eyes usual drift to her uncrowned finger in wonderment. It’s not that she is not aware that her faith and fervor thins out her crowd. Some laugh in front of her face but many more the moment she turns her back. She is void of any emotional stress that their rolling eyes may convey.

Photo by PICHA Stock on Pexels.com

For Tassia, this confidence came out of a deep place of relating to GOD in prayer. She sought Him and He assured her of the son He has assigned as her husband for His purpose. Consistently and affectionately she seeks Him, who fills every void in her. She has dealt with the baggage she carried into several relationships unknowingly. Tassia would expect disappointment in various forms, so she braced for it in her relationships. Eventually, she would herself sabotage the relationship in order to avoid suffering the pain at someone else’s hand.

She was called away to GOD. There HE opened her heart and show her the persons she had to let go. HE showed her the beliefs she had to surrender to renew her mind. It was a power struggle. It took time for her to realize that the very thing she was comfortable to keep could kill her destiny. The fasted lifestyle took a hold of the rope that constricted her generations from healthy marriages demanding that it be fragmented. She partnered with the only One who could deliver her, denying her own way for His.

Don’t grudge her as she rises from the reputation you’ve known her to have, or the past that predicted her failure. Tassia is a bride made ready for her groom through yielding. She is no longer fickle, needing someone to fulfil her. It’s in her GOD that she has been made whole and strong.

Is she healed just so she can be married? Oh no! Her healing is the reason you can call her a faithful friend. Her processing is why she was employee of the year and many gravitate toward her.

Those who laughed, their laughter have been abruptly silenced and they are in awe as her many weighted words make way for her dream to materialize. Learn her ways. They are not unique to her. The Marriage Maker welcomes you into the same healing and strengthening. Honestly, Esther would attest that there is a price called – sacrifice. Don’t fear or discredit yourself, for you are granted the empowerment you need to succeed.

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