Month: September 2020

5 Get wisdom; develop good judgment.
    Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.
⁶ Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.
    Love her, and she will guard you.
⁷ Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
    And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.
⁸ If you prize wisdom, she will make you great.
    Embrace her, and she will honor you.
⁹ She will place a lovely wreath on your head;
     she will present you with a beautiful crown.” NLT Prov 4:5-9

A fascinating tale is told in the Book of Proverbs about the lady Wisdom. She is always crying out in the streets to all who cares to listen. That tells me Wisdom is more than making itself available to us. Yet it’s up to us to choose it. It is no different with our relationships. Some of our crazy decisions cause Lady Wisdom to climb a ladder shouting, bellowing at the top of her lungs, in an effort to get our attention and possibly stop us.

Sometimes our downfall is our niceness which obstruct our good judgement. Our motives are sometimes as pure as snow but it takes a little more than that to spot a joker. Jokers know how to spot you with your big heart protruding from your chest. They know if there’s one thing you are – it’s understanding. They enjoy telling you about this trait of yours in order to keep you trapped. Many failed relationships could have been avoided if you were sober enough to spot a joker.

Let’s take a look at a Joker in action. Missing an appointment with you is a low risk action because of course you will — understand. The Joker’s “ask” is always greater than his deliveries, since you’re the one doing the majority of the work in the relationship. Given another option he cancels his commitment with you, because you will — understand.

Admittedly, some jokers are much more subtle and will make convincing effort until another interest shows up. Jokers are not a safe place for your dreams and ambitions. They don’t know how to value your pearls and purpose. They would prefer that you keep the conversation solely about them and their life. That’s because most Jokers are selfish and insincere. They are seeking someone who will sustain their stardom…”spotlight on me.”

Some ladies find it their duty to pander to this narcissistic existence, feeling gratified by being needed by someone. If that’s you, consider what need you have internally that gets a fix only by carrying out a rescue mission. It could be that you are genuinely helpful, but understand that relationships require give and take. No one party should do all the giving or all the taking. You’re deserving of a worthy partner who loves your sincere soul and sacrifices to prove that love.

Just a few Clues…

1. Words void of follow up actions..
2. Little respect for your time.
3. Your not a treasure just an attraction
4. Places little value on your ambitions and dreams.
5. A trend of broken engagements.
6. Little to no sacrifice.

Don’t waste your precious time with a joker. He will only change when he is ready.

Join me on The Smart, Fabulous & Single Podcast with Tricia-Anne Y. Morris for ‘From Me-ology to Marriage-ology’ (Me-ology Part 2). I’m sharing tips on how to move from being too me-focused and me-centered as single women to becoming marriage material.

To listen to ‘From Me-ology to Marriage-ology’, download and subscribe to the Smart, Fabulous & Single Podcast at anytime at https://apple.co/3f9JkRg. You can also access show notes and resources at sfswoman.com/listen.

And if you have any comments or questions feel free to email them to pod@sfswoman.com.

Here’s a topic untouched: single Christian women setting sexual expectations for fellow brothers by breaching biblical standards. We’re not talking about it! Some sisters are finding it hard to foster a pure relationship that leads to marriage. The reason simply is that there are some ladies who are giving it all up to brothers who are not sold out to GOD. Brothers have come to expect it.

Then comes Sister Standard who dare to want to live the Bible. Live the Bible! She sees a man serving and seemingly all about GOD and gets involved in a developing relationship only to be surprised at his expectations. You know the subtle innuendos that he doesn’t want to come out of his mouth since his ears just might hear that it sounds ungodly, but he expects Sister Sanctified to pick up that he needs his appetite met. After which they’d go on with their relationship like nothing ever happened. At her refusal, he is stunned and she is equally stunned.

“How did this woman really expect this to work!”

“Why would I be dating a Christian brother if we’re going to live just like the world?”

Well this stops the music and the whole relationship!

He considers that he has so many options and she wasted his time. Time to move on to the other church girl who is much more accommodating. He is usually quite successful since there are many who strike out that part of the Bible due to its inconvenience in our modern day culture.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Eph 5:3

The sister is hurt and resolves that Christian men are no different from the unsaved men she encounters on her job.

Could this be avoided? Yes… to some extent. For example, you need to get to know the value system of a guy before investing your heart into the relationship. Yes some may lie. Still do your homework! Don’t bat an eye to let your standards of purity be known. You might lose him? That’s a worthy loss.

Let’s lay it out good and strong! There are blessings that two people who decide to keep it clean during courtship attract…even if you messed up in previous relationships. This is an agreement to honor GOD throughout your relationship. We cannot drop the standards because they seem out-dated in comparison to the sin-celebrating culture in which we traverse. God means what HE said! “Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.” In essence, if you choose His ways above your own, He will grant you your desires.

Besides, sex is a glue that binds people together often times. Imagine if he is not your husband how difficult it will be for you to think straight long enough to break it off. It’s not hard to develop a soul tie as result, which is a construct intended for making the two become one in marriage.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Or don’t you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 1Cor 6:15-16

Sisters, you might be making it hard for another sister through your compromise…but even more than that, you’re robbing yourself of the blessings that accompanies obedience. Have you ever attended a wedding that you know GOD kissed? I want that to be your wedding. Be the “good thing” that is sought after.