“So tell me, don’t you have a single friend? You know, a girl who’s level head.”

Having heard this from a gentleman who is seeking to be married, instinctively I run several single friend files through my mind. “Who would suit such a guy?” What do I even mean by suit? Is he worthy of any of my gem of a friend? As the old Jamaican proverb goes, “every hoe have dem tick a bush.” Simply put, everyone has someone who is right for them.

Seriously…not every man fits every woman and there are good reasons for this. Let’s take a fresh look. If “he that finds a wife finds a good thing,” she must be good for him. So maybe women need to look at the rough version of their potential husband and ask, “Can he handle the upgrade that I bring?”

Surely your upgrade can be an overkill for the wrong man. Which brings us to the point of purpose compatibility. Do you have to shrink back to exist in the same space? Do you feel contained and restricted, forcing an “I’m ok” smile on your face? Run!

How long can you hold your breath? With the right match there is a common current that moves you both. Now, you will likely respond differently to that passion and call but that’s still good. When I have an inspiration and the ideas are gushing, my husband is usually quite still… He works the technical side and I stew in the creative. Together we rock!

So…don’t seek to find yourself in a man. Instead, consider the person with whom your purpose will best be served. He might not look now how he will when you upgrade him, but place emphasis on character.