Wouldn’t you agree that you have to look out for yourself as well as others? Instinctively, all humans do. Our fabulously fashioned bodies automatically protect us against harm. Our eyelashes keep the dirt out, our ears have wax to keep insects out, our hard skulls protect our soft brain, while our rib cage protects our heart….you get the gist! So why not protect yourself from clear and present dangers in relationships?
We’ve all had those experiences where we encounter an attractive guy who sends shock waves through us – it could be his smile, intellectual prowess, sense of style, talent or just his roguish sense of danger. At this point you whisper to your common sense “Shut up! This guy is amazing!” You then enjoy the short-lived thrill. For some, everything about him says he belongs to a different kingdom, but you reason…”he’s got a good heart.” Funny!
If not you, you’ve observed this scenario with friends and what do you want to do? Graciously and politely tell them “Stop the foolishness!” This is even more provoking when the drama is prolonged and you have to stick around, as good friends do, for the mop up. There are just some situation that neither GOD nor the devil had anything to do with. Truthfully my friend, one of us, was just led astray by our own lust (not just sexually). Sure, the devil did indeed exploit the situation and have waited to do so.
I’ve got your back no matter how strong or weak you are. Let’s start putting together a preemptive strike sister to sister. If you don’t have barriers any dog can poop on your lawn. You don’t want to start thinking about boundaries when your heart is racing and your feet cant reach the brakes. We’re smarter than that! So, here’s what we do. Write. Put to words the kind of husband you desire. We want to engage the help of GOD for this, since HE’s the one holding the answer sheet. So get your worship on and engage God on this journey. What are some of the characteristics that really matters to you in a relationship?
So now you’re catching a glimpse. What kind of purpose will you fulfill together? Write what’s in your heart. What are the issues you must bring solutions to? You’re getting a goal in mind that’s bigger than today and more impressive than your burning flesh. You’re just starting….
When you’re clear on his character, you have just set your standard. Standards are boundaries that keep you in (check) and stragglers out of your way. These boundaries are for safety and not for stifling potential. Who are the persons who look up to you now or will look up to later? Remember you are also living your leadership. “Follow me as I follow Christ.” You will one day help them through this.
It’s time to put up some more boundaries. We will all have different types of barriers. Where one can use a fence another may need a thick block wall. Take physical touch for example, some person are turned on at holding hands while to other it matters not. To thine own self be true. Set barriers based on how you know you are and out of your desire to honor GOD with your body.
Examples of boundaries: Open mouth kissing is reserved for after engagement. I will have someone keep me accountable in serious relationships. I will not date non-Christian guys.
These standards have to come from your own heart or they will be just a list of lifeless rules. None of these will work until you decide – make up in your heart that this is what you’re about.
So what if it turns off guys? It should. The right one will admire and respect you. He’ll understand that the treasure he has. For those who cannot, you’ll say, “If it’s not you, it’s better.”