“He Said…She said’
Like a well-oiled machine, benevolence ministry took off as Jala envisioned it. She couldn’t help feeling a sense of accomplishment as volunteers filed in and issues were being passed on to the counselling department of the church. She realized that the two ministries worked hand in hand. Jala oftentimes consulted with persons and heard their situations and then filtered them to the appropriate ministries. Mrs. Lueth, Jala’s mentor, was training new persons in the counselling department only two doors down from the benevolence room.
Chari had laundered the clothes that came in, ironing and folding them neatly. She had them well organized and almost looking new. Meanwhile, Jala handed out numerous packages to the poor and sought ways to extend the ministry to meet the needs. Abe served passionately in his lane, linking men with local job opportunities with the help of Ephraim. Friday evening was the busiest evening for benevolence and this Friday the four friends were tired and hungry.
Pastor Pruitt had the hospitality department treat all the persons working in counselling and benevolence to finger-foods in the courtyard. As they ate, a spontaneous discussion on marriage erupted and over 20 young adults were fully engaged.
“I’m living my best life now and any man who can’t handle that, too bad!”
Knowing how passionate she can become, Jala wanted to stay as far as she could from the discussion, so she busied herself serving the food.
Abe could not resist, “So, your best life means everything done your way?”
“Why should she put her life on pause waiting for a man?” snapped Samantha, who had broken off a relationship with Abe years ago after letting him know he was not assertive enough in the relationship.
Ephraim, who had snuck in to hang some hooks Jala had asked him to install added, “It doesn’t sound like a man has any room to enter that ‘best life’.”
Gavin, known to be a sharpshooter, opined bluntly, “As a man, I find a lot of Christian women either too full of themselves or too desperate! Just sayin’.”
“Wait…wait now!” said Sister Becky, who had been married for years, trying to keep the conversation from escalating.
Still, Gavin was not yet done.
“It’s true, if you give a woman a compliment, the next thing you hear is that she’s planning the wedding and you don’t even know!”
Jala managed to stay on the outskirts of the conversation until she heard Gavin’s statement.
“If men would stop intentionally leading women on,” started Jala with flared lips and hands on her hips, “yes, asking probing questions about the woman’s dream marriage after sweet-talking her on the phone every night only to find out he makes several of those calls and have several women dangling not knowing if he’s in a relationship with them. That’s the real problem!”
“Ohhhh!” The courtyard exploded as persons were surprised that Jala called it out this way!
“Well let’s talk about it!” Aunty Lu was glad to address the matter. “I counsel many in this church with the same issues you all have brought up. I must say the blame is shared as it concerns men leading women on and women being way too gullible.”
Walking over to the women she added, “Women, I would suggest that you assume nothing of his intentions but a friendship until you are clearly approached. At this time, you can consider if he is worth it.”
“If he is worth it!” shouted Cassandra as she sprang to her feet, pointing like a teacher to the other ladies. “Some of them are certainly not! After spending so much effort on making yourself a class of a woman, why pick up an underpaid man?”
“So, a man is not a man unless he is making more than you, Cassandra? Now we are getting down to what matters to them, men!”
The men rose to their feet with rumbles of disagreement.
It was Aunty Lu to the rescue again. She knows just how to balance firmness and kindness in the tone of her voice.
“Men and Women,” she said with hands raised, “how many of you agree that you both need each other?
The place was still, but not peaceful.
Ephraim stepped out from the men. “Mrs. Lueth, while we agree that we need the women, do you see the predicament us men face? We are being discriminated against for not climbing the ladder of success as fast or faster than these godly women, not to mention if we are not as spiritually mature as they imagine we should be. What is your advice to us?
“Before I answer your question Ephraim, let me ask how many women here would not consider courting a man if he is not as or more spiritually and financially grounded?
Some hands went up, while others did not.
Ephraim subtly glance over at Jala to see if her hand was up. Jala’s arms were folded as she looked intently at Aunty Lu.
“Well Ephraim, now you can see that not all women think the same way. The one you will marry will honour and love you despite where you are in your journey. She will value the person you are and the one you are becoming. Together you will be a rock for each other.
“Wow!” marvelled Ephraim. “Would it be ok to give you a hug?”
Aunty Lu gave him one of her healing hugs and Ephraim grinned. A sober look was left on each face.
Chari shouted, “To be continued!”
Jala headed to the benevolence room to lock up after the discussion and Efraim was right behind her.
It puzzled him that his friend who he had come to accept as a stickler for an already made man…did not agree that a man must make more money than she does.
“I’ll get the windows,” Ephraim said, stepping in front of Jala to pull shut the two sliding windows.
“That was such a robust discussion. It’s good to hear young people honestly express themselves.
“Your church doesn’t do that?” enquired Jala.
“Well, we’re probably not as open and down to earth as here. I’m surprised though at you.”
“At me? What did I do again?”
The two headed down the corridor.
I noticed that you didn’t agree that a man must earn more than you to be a suitable mate.
“And that’s surprising to you?”
“What else did you assume about me Ephraim?”
“Not much. I am just trying to get to know you lot and I was surprised that you’re not one of those women who would not even give a thought to an average guy. “
“Fraim, I’ve watched my mom struggle with us while our father roams the earth having more children and leaving them with no support. So, I don’t think less of my sisters who believe a man must really be put together well before he is an option. I was like them and if I don’t keep my focus on the GOD who keeps me,
there go I.
“Wow! I never thought of it that way Jala. Maybe, I have assumed a lot. It seemed to me that you came from the perfect family and that’s why you’re so proper and well put together. Jala laughed as they leaned against the car talking.
“You know….those perfect families you see getting into their cars after church. As for me…I grew up without any of my parents. It’s my sweet grandmother who raised me. Yea and she was amazing. Still I wondered what it would be like.
“At least I have a mom, gosh that must have been hard for you.
“The truth is grandma poured love into me and taught me a lot. My father, her son, died in a freak accident when I was 3…I hardly remember him.”
“Fraim! Can I get a ride with you?” Chari came charging out of the building. “Abe got caught up in another argument with Cassandra and Gavin. Imagine if we had a single’s ministry. This is what it would look like? War!”
If you have missed the last 4 in the Church Girl Series…your in the right place…wifematerial.blog. Take a read and learn more about the jagged journey of these characters at a church near you.(more…)
Jala was almost finished helping Mrs Lueth prepare for all the young adults who were coming over for fun and fellowship that Saturday afternoon. Mrs. Lueth’s house was big enough to accommodate several groups of young adults at the same time and she enjoyed having them over. Jala could hear Mrs. Lueth calling her softly as she finished cleaning off the kitchen countertop.
Jala sank into one of the plush brown outdoor chairs on the balcony, suspicious of what might be coming next.
“Auntie Lu, what’s going on?”
“Something’s been on my mind recently since you introduced me to that young man.”
“Oh dear!” Jala let out a sigh as she cuddled one on the cushions placing one hand under chin. “Do we really have to talk about Ephraim?”
“Aaah… we don’t have to talk about Ephraim, but we do have to talk about you. I’ve been praying for you, asking GOD what’s happening? Jala…You are in a series of reaction. I only wonder if you can see what you’re reacting to.”
Jala felt something in the pit of her stomach. This conversation has gone so deep so fast. She knew she could not be surface her answers to Mrs. Lueth. She was motherly with a dark chocolate complexion and pleasingly plump, with deep dimples that created apostrophes around her smile.
“Auntie, I don’t want to go back to where I’m coming from.” The tears started welling up in Jala’s eyes but Auntie Lue was not letting up. Her gentle countenance was most disarming, backed by her evident love. She folded Jala into a side hug which softly communicated that there was no getting away.
“You’re in quite a fight Jala. I see you waging a war against what started on the inside of you. When you end the war inside you’ll end the war outside.”
“These people hurt me! They dragged my name through the mud. Hardly any ever asked me to my face what happened. People I trusted spread lies about me and him. I’m still so embarrassed. I genuinely thought Jonathan loved me and was interested in being married to me. We got prophesies, Auntie!”
Jala was breaking and tears were flowing from her broken heart as she struggled to control her usually well guarded emotions.
“People said I slept with him! Oh my goodness Auntie. I felt like a church floozy! Me…a virgin!”
“It’s ok precious. It’s ok!” Auntie held her the more but Jala heaved until they were both on the tiled floor.
“Just let it out.”
“I never talked about it! I felt too ashamed. I messed up! I went too far with him. I could hardly talk to God after my repeated offence. Again I felt ashamed. Auntie….only to find out I was just one of the girls he was with in the church?
Her mouth opened with no words or sound, just tears. All this time Jala toughened up and blamed herself for being this foolish.
Auntie moaned alongside Jala like a midwife helping her to give birth.
“Let it out,” she comforted.
“It wasn’t even a month later he was engaged! I looked like I was trying break up their union…Auntie I wanted answers! Why did he choose me to make a fool of and why didn’t I see? How did I miss God?”
After many tears and snot, Mrs Lueth prayed her red hot fiery prayer for Jala, who was like a soaked handkerchief.
“You must forgive yourself Jala. You’ve repented for you part. Receive God’s forgiveness and freely give forgiveness to those who hurt you. The more you hold on to the pain, the less able you are to move forward. Your healing has started.”
Mrs. Lueth wiped her face.” Jala, remember that Ephraim was not there. He should not be punished for what others did.
“I knew that in my head. I felt I could not allow him to think for a moment that I was interested in him. I realized that I really enjoy his friendship once there was no threat of a relationship or others thinking there was.
Mrs. Lueth could hear the cars pulling into the cul de sac and got up to remotely open the gates from the balcony so that the early birds could park in the yard.
Walking back to Jala she added, “Don’t waste your energy trying to get people not to talk about you. My mother once told me, ‘Live free and let people be.'”
Jala quickly got off the floor, to fix up before everyone was inside the house. “Thank you Aunty Lue. I feel so light. Yes, and free!”
As soon as she disappeared in the bathroom, Chari’s loud voice filled the house.
“Auntie Lue, I smell something good!”
Abe and Ephraim followed behind carrying all the bags Chari gave them to take in the house.
“Hello my children,” Auntie did a dance coming down the stairs. She greeted them one by one and made effort to especially welcome Ephraim.
“Where’s Jala, Aunt?”
It’s been a hectic morning. She’s gone to shower.”
“So Ephraim I hear that you go to the Baptist Church not far from us.”
“Yes, mam,” answered Ephraim trying not to appear awkward while fighting the memory of his first introduction to Aunty Lue.
The three sat around the island in the kitchen, while Auntie Lue plastic wrapped the trays of food and chatted about her friends at the Baptist Church that Ephraim attends.
The bell rang again as Jala came into the kitchen greeting everyone and she grabbed the remote to open up from the balcony.
“Can I help you with anything,” asked Ephraim.
“Great, thank you. Ephraim, you take the igloo out to the balcony, Abe you get the ice from the deep freezer and Chari you come with me.”
As Ephraim headed to the balcony he hesitated as if he wanted to make a u-turn.
“Fraim, sang Jala, I’m so glad you came.”
“Really, cause I don’t want to embarrass you anymore.”
“You don’t embarrass me, but I’m embarrassed about my behaviour toward you. Could we please start over?
Jala extended her hand for a handshake.
“Nope,” Ephraim turned his back.
“But we can pick up from the where we left off in benevolence.”
Jala slowly breathed a sigh of relief, quickly shaking Ephraim’s hand.
“Friends,” they both agreed.
Auntie Lue glanced at them and gave out a “Thank you Jesus!”
Chari and Abe were just in time to create a huddle and a strong bond was formed.
Hey, we’re not done. More Church Girl Series coming. Tell us if you can relate these characters and scenarios. Jot us a line and be sure to share the story with friends. Thanks in advance!
After many days of clearing out the benevolence room, with very little help, Jala could see her vision materializing. She had a passion for the poor and devoted every evening after work for the past month, to revamping the room.
Her vision was to ‘help with honor’ way beyond just giving the poor a few food items. She finally had the approval for the construction of a small office within the large benevolence room. Jala removed the dark curtains that blocked the sunlight and brought in a few sheer panels she had convinced her friend Chari she did not need. Chari was used to Jala pulling her into the benevolence Ministry to help at a moment’s notice.
In benevolence ministry, she had latitude and could avoid being upfront, yet serve the people she was passionate about. Chari often tells her that she hides in benevolence to avoid interaction with majority of the church.
This was Jala’s passion!
“Jala, you’re back there?”
Jala could hear a coarse male voice calling her as it drew closer to the benevolence room. It was Pastor Pruitt, who played a major role in Jala becoming a Christian.
“I’ve got some help for you! Where do you want the cupboards and the shelves?
“Pleasant evening Pastor Pruit,” said Jala as Pastor Pruitt steps aside.
“This is the help I brought you. Meet Ephraim who will be doing the cupboards and shelves for the room. Please tell him where everything goes.
“Oh Hello, Ephrem, E-phraaim?”
“That’s okay. I’ve heard it all. I’ve even had someone spell my name starting with an ‘F’ for Ephraim.
Jala laughed and ushered him into the room.
“I don’t know what my mom was thinking. If she wanted a Bible name, why not David?”
“Follow me, David!”
They both laughed. Jala explained the new layout and Ephraim wasted no time measuring up the space.
As Ephraim worked, he and Jala chatted away as if they had known each other for years.
“So, what is this church like, and how long have you been a Christian?”
“Wow! That’s a lot of questions…let’s see…vibrant church, not without issues and 5 years.”
Stopping to process what Jala said, he added, “That works.”
“You might consider me a baby Christian, but I’m excited about my new life. I got saved at a church not far from here about a year ago.”
Jala was standing on her desk trying to hang a few frames, while Ephraim continued measuring outside the office.
The light flickered…
“Did you see that?
“I’m glad you did,” replied Jala.
Soon there was an explosion and the electricity was out. Hardly any light came through the window now.
Jala, frighten, tried making her way off her desk and twisted her ankle in panic.
“I’m here… I’m here. Are you alright?”
Ephraim pulled out his phone flashlight and found Jala trying to get off the floor. She was embarrassed. Jala hated to admit her need for help to a complete stranger, no matter how kind he appeared.
“Did you fall?”
“No,” she snapped. By this her ankle was pounding and painful. The tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was grateful for the darkness.
“How embarrassing,” she thought.
Realizing that Jala could hardly walk Ephraim offered to help. She reluctantly laid her pride aside and held on to David, hopping out of the room.
“What was that?”
Ephraim understood that the bubbly personality he met only hours ago was now very uncomfortable. He shifted the attention to the incident at hand as they walked down the hallway.
Upon approaching the exit door, they could see lights. There were lights of fire trucks, ambulances and a fire at the gas station across the road.
A crowd had gathered outside the church, as many prayed for those who were being placed in ambulances.
Jala realized that her pride being hurt was insignificant to the dire situation before them.
“Jala we had forgotten about you and Ephraim around the back,” said Pastor Pruitt. “Are you okay?”
By this Jala was standing on her left leg, while Ephraim braced her from the side.
As soon as Pastor Pruitt asked the question all eyes gazed puzzlingly to Jala and Ephraim. Jala knew what that meant. She could only imagine their conversations and thoughts.
“Didn’t she just meet him?”
“What’s his arm doing around her?
“They wasted no time.”
“Is he even saved?”
Again… Jala felt a covering of embarrassment. It was what she wanted to avoid the most…giving church people something to talk about. Her swollen right ankle left her no option. She had to take the help and risk being falsely accused. It only got worse when she got in her car and Ephraim drove her home.
Jala had a few things to say to GOD.
“God how could you do this! You know I have maintained a clean reputation. I’ve stay away from unfruitful relationships and things that fuel gossip. Now I seem to be caught up with a man I know nothing about…a baby Christian at that. The poor thing has no idea what he just stepped into. I will have to live this down. Why, me? I hope this guy doesn’t get any ideas in his head.”
Follow us on the next blog to find out how the guarded Jala handles the unwanted attention from her church family and poor Ephraim.
It’s love and it’s beautiful! It’s heart-thumping and nerve-racking, but sweet! There is a bond, a connection and a feeling like forever is not long enough. It’s what the movies are made of! There is the occasional step back that makes you wonder if this is “too good to be true.” But what more could you ask for when the love is undeniable?
So glad you asked. Let’s stop for just a crucial moment and turn down the background music to really take a sober look at the marriage you passionately desire. Like any iconic building, marriage needs a strong foundation. After building that strong foundation, please turn back up the music and let the church bells ring with joyful laughter.
Even before starting the building, please consult the ‘Marriage Maker’ to find out if it is worth your time, effort and emotional investment. Did GOD give you the nod? This might leave you feeling lost, so let’s be clear. Very rarely will the voice of GOD thunder from heaven in approval of your spousal choice. Instead, this requires a relationship already established with Him where you, as His sheep, hear His voice. In worship when you have drawn close to Him and sense His presence, pop the question and wait. You might not get a worded answer, but you have started the quest. He is a good Father who will not give you a stone instead of bread. God wants you to know who to marry.
For me, He guided me by His profound peace. I came to realize that many of my decisions would be made this way since He wants me (us) to know Him this intimately. God will, in addition, confirm His approval in many ways: some very logical and others crafted just for you.
The work has just begun!
Not because he or she is the “one” means that it will be smooth sailing! You both have to empty your trunk of junk from the past, air your expectations in marriage and make a plan for this new family unit that you can both agree to. You guessed it…get pre-marital counseling! By the way, counseling should start when you both decide to pursue each other for the purpose of marriage – courtship. It does not start after you have sent out your “Save the Dates” for the wedding.
This preparation period if mishandled will turn something beautiful into a horror show! Besides the trunk of junk that each person carries into relationships, each has undefined expectations that one may consider is commonly known. Oh, contrary!
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Pr 4:7
God is entrusting you to love His daughter or His son and it will require serious adjustments on both sides. Some things will come naturally for you, while others, you will be taught in the process of learning to love each other. It is work! It’s not automatic! The more you are yielded to God, the more easily you will love like 1 Cor 13. This chapter speaks of committed love, the only kind that marriage should be built on. Note…1 Cor 13 goes where no emotion nor fling can follow. It too takes work!
We’re in London, England on our first anniversary…what could go wrong?
Sorry I asked…
We were chipper leaving the hotel and heading off into the great unknown to make our own anniversary adventure. Oxford Circus was a buzz and an exciting vibrant atmosphere surrounded us as we delighted in all its architectural offerings.
Admittedly, it was a little dampening when we learnt we could not catch any of our favourite plays in a theatre that day since they were fully booked. Still, if there was one thing we were – it was hope-full.
We shook that off and headed for dinner. You know, a little fancy restaurant to enjoy fine cuisine. The restaurant we settled with didn’t look ideal but we thought it might do the trick. After ordering, we chatted and shared our excitement about being on tour with the band for a month as well as all we would do together. Soon our Italian cuisine arrived and though not visually stimulating, we were ready for “new.” We got just that! Frozen squid in tomato sauce plopped on top of spaghetti, was new.
Eventually, we gave up on food and decided to browse the vibrant Oxford Circus. We soon found a struggling Czech Republic migrant who drew this picture with one pencil. He captured some facial features well and missed others, but we were happy.
Night was starting to fall and we decided to catch the train back to our hotel, after getting some directions to the station. We soon realised we were lost, very lost! We were lost for hours. All the honey in our moon was gone and we became annoyed with each other. We waved at taxis one after the other and stood confused as to why they ignore us. Hours passed and it was dark…and hopeless. We comforted each other, feeling the scourge of rejection. It dawned on us that we were Black. After praying, waving at more taxis and waiting, a kind taxi driver drove past us and returned. Interestingly, he dropped us in front of our hotel in under 5 mins. We were so close to the hotel.
As we entered the hotel lobby, we were greeted by band members who added the icing to our ‘anniversary experience.’ They informed us that the tour had been cancelled and we had to find a place to stay by tomorrow!
We laughed and laughed! Indeed, we were on a longer ‘adventure’ since we were stuck in England for a month now, with no more concerts. We decided to make the most of it and ride every wave that came.
At the end of that night, we ordered room service and had the best lasagna ever! We celebrated our love for each other and apologized for the moments we lost track of the main things. Looking back over the 21 years of marriage. Our attitude has been a lot like that first anniversary. We challenge each challenge together as one force and laugh a lot.
Courting is an exciting time of discovery and romance, laden with the mystery of weaving two lives together. I remember how keenly we planned our many excursions which strangely erased unfamiliarity and brought us closer together. The task of getting to know each other was the most rewarding job we could have been given. Certainly, we would do it well...like two nerds with sharpened pencils at the front of the class.
When we decided to upgrade from friendship to courtship, we promptly brought our decision to our pastor. So here was the assignment: get a journal and extensively log all your expectations in marriage and after writing, exchange books with each other. Hmmmm…interesting!!!
While you may call our premarital counseling somewhat of a drive-by counseling, these two nerds took the assignment to task journeying across Jamaica with our journals. Whether with fresh caught fish on the seaside or discovering a castle on a mountainside, we pulled out our Expectations journals (EJ). Discovering each other stirred deep conversations.
Like flipping the pages of our hearts to view the next set of details we uncovered our expectations in marriage ranging from how we want to be loved to who washes the dishes. Dating became fruitful and very interesting.
As I often say, the marriage you’re going to have is already programmed into your heart. It therefore makes sense to unveil the heart unashamedly in the early stages so each gather enough information to know if this is the one worth committing to. Differences are certain, but an amicable conclusion can often be reached.
After honestly and diligently going through a range of topics in our EJ, we were better prepared to tackle the tumultuous early years of marriage, understanding each other’s expectations.
Here’s a taste of a question you’ll tackle in the EJ, “If we have a conflict, how would you like me to approach you?”
After 20 years of marriage, we want to help couples navigate through the premarital stages with the Expectations Journal.
Unlike a plain journal, we have made it special with prompts and pictures that you will make into your own memorabilia, while getting on the same page with your spouse. We have provided a list of potent subjects that premarital couples should certainly discuss before marriage.
Interestingly, we still have our Expectations Journal and carry them on almost every anniversary. We chuckle over want we use to expect and refresh what we now expect. This premarital tool can accompany you on any date.
Get ready! Choose a topic. Write your heart out about it! Exchange books !
You may think you know what to expect!
Enjoy each other!
Order your copy of The Expectations Journal by Tania Case on Amazon.com.
Cherish…to hold or treat as dear; feel love for
For years I have counseled ladies to check for the clear signs that a guy cherishes them. It may seem quite simple and even a little insignificant, but think again. The reason a man cherishes a woman is because he has discerned the level of her value. Without that sense of treasuring you, he can easily mistake your identity and mistreat you.
Let’s find a biblical basis for this claim.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God.” Proverbs 18:22
If the man does not recognize that you are a “good thing” that leads him to increase in favor with God, you cannot expect him to truly cherish you. Your value is lost on him. It is important to identify that quality in your relationship. When you are treasured, you are treated with love, care and caution.
Take a look at one of my favorite Kings – King Lemuel.
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10
This King understood that to find this woman is rare. He likens her worth to more than that of rubies! Do you think that he understood and cherished the value that this woman carries? Let’s be fair. Notice the woman that this man cherished. She is of noble character.
These words are used to describe the Chayil
strength, might, efficiency, a force like an army, rich in abilities
She is a woman of valor.
So while we advocate for being cherished in a relationship, we equally urge you to possess high character qualities that will make it abundantly clear that you are a daughter of the true King and therefore royalty. Value yourself and you will be setting the standard for how you are treated.
Tassia has imagined her love story from as long as she could remember. Though life has thrown her some hard punches, her hope remains buoyant and fresh. Much to the annoyance of her friends she continues to talk about her dream marriage. It’s as if she is as excited about it as she is about her Christian walk. If you’re around her, that fervor will either annoy or inspire you. When she talks about her husband, eyes usual drift to her uncrowned finger in wonderment. It’s not that she is not aware that her faith and fervor thins out her crowd. Some laugh in front of her face but many more the moment she turns her back. She is void of any emotional stress that their rolling eyes may convey.
For Tassia, this confidence came out of a deep place of relating to GOD in prayer. She sought Him and He assured her of the son He has assigned as her husband for His purpose. Consistently and affectionately she seeks Him, who fills every void in her. She has dealt with the baggage she carried into several relationships unknowingly. Tassia would expect disappointment in various forms, so she braced for it in her relationships. Eventually, she would herself sabotage the relationship in order to avoid suffering the pain at someone else’s hand.
She was called away to GOD. There HE opened her heart and show her the persons she had to let go. HE showed her the beliefs she had to surrender to renew her mind. It was a power struggle. It took time for her to realize that the very thing she was comfortable to keep could kill her destiny. The fasted lifestyle took a hold of the rope that constricted her generations from healthy marriages demanding that it be fragmented. She partnered with the only One who could deliver her, denying her own way for His.
Don’t grudge her as she rises from the reputation you’ve known her to have, or the past that predicted her failure. Tassia is a bride made ready for her groom through yielding. She is no longer fickle, needing someone to fulfil her. It’s in her GOD that she has been made whole and strong.
Is she healed just so she can be married? Oh no! Her healing is the reason you can call her a faithful friend. Her processing is why she was employee of the year and many gravitate toward her.
Those who laughed, their laughter have been abruptly silenced and they are in awe as her many weighted words make way for her dream to materialize. Learn her ways. They are not unique to her. The Marriage Maker welcomes you into the same healing and strengthening. Honestly, Esther would attest that there is a price called – sacrifice. Don’t fear or discredit yourself, for you are granted the empowerment you need to succeed.
Here’s a little secret…If you’re not healed from the thorn-bush experiences that you’ve repeatedly tumbled through, you’re probably not in the best shape to know your type of guy. Will you not choose from those who do not threaten the unhealed areas of you? Well that would mean that your past pain is ruling your future.
If the right one comes along, will your scarred lenses detect him as you look through windows of pain? I would never dear to kick you while you’re down. No I am here to administer medicine you may likely think you don’t need.
It’s time now to purposefully return to the scene of the crime. Where they hurt you. Where they abandoned you. You know that place you erased from your memory in order to cope. Little did you know that you’re daily reacting to that trauma. Making decisions based on it… choosing friends based on it….viewing life based on it.
If only we could go there and remove the fears you found and carried from there. There were some decisions you made as a result of the heavy disappointments that your heart could hardly carry. They were vows intended to protect you against that terrible scenes but instead the vows built chains binding you to your unwanted past.
Again…I’m only here to administer medicine for a soul that can be healed. I need you to cooperate. Aaah…open your mouth and denounce those vows.
Open again…keep it open and repent of becoming so self sufficient, that you can hardly receive help from anyone – your defense mechanisms employed to protect the wound, but it shut you out of living.
Open up again and forgive the perpetrators of that penetrating pain. Please can I ask you once more to cooperate with me as you denounce hatred which sprung to existence taking advantage of your awful situation. Father’s arms are opened for you to collapse in it and surrender…
Did I say, “Father?” Now you don’t want to hear me since much of your pain came from him. This FATHER is not like that one. HE says He’ll never leave you nor forsake you. His love is forever…yes steady…like a credit card it’s maxed out on you…He wants you healed and whole…flourishing from a prosperous soul.
The healed you is amazing with strength and resilience. You’re telling your story as people wonder if it’s even possible to rise from such dark places to the light of the platform you stand on. Your soften heart embraces the many who are where you were. You only know to love them to life after Father poured his love all over your life. Look at you!
Now confident in GOD’s love, you have permission to fearlessly receive and give love. So who is your type? I’m holding his description against the one you once had and they are looking drastically different. With cleaned heart and cleared lenses, love finds this “good thing.” You know now that you had to be healed to even known and receive your type.