“How do I know he’s the one?”
A funny thing happened on the way to I do! That moment he stepped out of the crowd and pledged his undying love, there was a mob attack. Suddenly, the tongues of all possible suitors came loose and there came with it the courage to now express their heart. So, when there comes a flurry impressive enough to make you wonder – How will you know he’s the one?
Since Christian marriages aren’t founded upon just feelings, it’s important to know what other signs to look out for. I will extract a couple of tell tale signs from my experience and hope that they will help to light your path to a confident “I do.”
We all want to know in our hearts that we are making the right choice when it comes to marriage, except those who are so caught up in a feeling/fantasy that a reality check would be threatening. Courtship is the place to fearlessly unveil hearts and intentions in order to take an honest look and decide if you can live with this person for the rest of your life.
In courtship, one thing I was sure of was that this guy loved me until he did not know what to do with himself. I was sorry for him. He would trip over his feet trying to get to me. Still, that was not enough.
On a spiritual level we soared together and had equal passion for GOD and His Word. It was our happy place – we enjoyed digging into the Bible and compare notes. Worship was another area in which we were super compatible. Still it was not enough.
We effortlessly enjoyed each other’s company and were genuine friends first and foremost. Physical attract came after awhile. Still that was not enough to make me commit to this guy for life, forsaking all others.
So how did I know that he was the one? Yes, all the factors mentioned above contributed to the big picture. The fact that he checked most, if not all of my boxes, which I had dutifully brought before GOD, was but a clue. Still, I wanted concrete evidence.
When I talked to GOD about him in the intimate place there was such a punctuated peace. As if to say, “Note this.” I was not anxious but confident that GOD had the right one for me. I didn’t want to twist GOD’s arm for Him to approve him. Instead, I was open to hear “yes” or “no.” So I had GOD’s peace, which was amazing, but I wanted further confirmation.
We both went to minister in praise and worship at a major event and in the middle of this sweet atmosphere, I felt the approval of GOD and had an understanding that this guy was home. I was never able to shake that feeling from then.
The sense of collective purpose was one of the most pronounced signs that “this is the guy!” We ignited around purpose. We knew this because we talked deeply and honestly about who we are what we felt GOD had called us to. We celebrated each other without an alteration plan. Admittedly, I was desperate to change how he dressed and I did.
Beyond your character checklist, you know he is the one because 1. God confirms it (this requires an intimate relationship with God).
2. Peace – he feels like home. 3. Strong sense of Collective Purpose.
Hint: These tell tale signs are much more detectable when sex is not a part of the relationship and you are both sober, free from soul ties, etc.
You can then know without a shadow of a doubt that he is the one.
Hint: If you have to jump through hurdles continuously to please him, he is likely not the one or an immature version of him…he needs more time to mature.
Hint: If you’re not better for being around him, he’s likely not the one. For example, if you have to tone down your Christianity – flashing red light.
There should be a beauty with you both going to your FATHER God together in prayer, knowing neither of you is an orphan.