There are some inexplicable features in a person’s character that distinguishes them from others. It draws you in and makes them miss-able upon their departure. Something in you is magnetized to them and you come alive! But is a strong relationship much more than an attraction on various levels?
Many things that we like about people can change with the arrival of new circumstances and before long you are introduced to a brand-new person. Or is it? We’ve all heard of marriages that were dissolved because a person ‘changed.’ It could be that the person never did change but simply let down his/her guard.
the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual
What makes a person truly beautiful is their consistency of character. Character is found at the very core of a person. It’s what determines what they would sacrifice for and find great delight to do, even though the benefit to them may seem miniscule.
As a person engages in a relationship that has marriage as its end game, this notable personal feature must be prioritized.
You might say that’s hard. How do you know someone’s character?
The truth is that there is a myriad of activities in our world that can make a person look like “the one.” For example, romantic acts that he reads out of a play book or duplicated from a friend. It is wonderful that he made the effort to woo you, but the act is not the character.
There are some tell tale signs of a person’s character. Let’s start with a big one – Money. It’s not how much he/she makes. It’s how he/she spends it. “For where your treasure is there your heart is also.” Mat 6:21 Your use of money tells what you prioritize and what you value.
How you spend your Time does the same, along with displaying the order you keep or maintain in your life.
How you use your Words will eventually reveal your heart. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Mat 12:34
How you handle Disappointments or Pressure, great or small, indicate your heart posture and mindset.
How much he/she Sacrifices for you and the relationship, reveals its value to him/her.
These are heavy enough clues to help you identify the character of persons before investing of yourself deeply into a relationship.
Character makes a man who made a promise to a child, go out of his way to fulfill his word. Character makes a woman carve out time to visit with her aged parent, while resisting all the other seemingly greater demands. Character makes a person prioritize tithing, serving and fulfilling commitments in Church. Character makes a man whose testosterones are urging him to go further sexually, seek to protect the woman he’s with and honor the God he serves. Telltale signs of true character are all over your relationships.
Are you seeing enough character to persuade you that he/she is the one?
Visit taniacase.com to further learn how to build strong Kingdom relationships.
Courting is an exciting time of discovery and romance, laden with the mystery of weaving two lives together. I remember how keenly we planned our many excursions which strangely erased unfamiliarity and brought us closer together. The task of getting to know each other was the most rewarding job we could have been given. Certainly, we would do it well...like two nerds with sharpened pencils at the front of the class.
When we decided to upgrade from friendship to courtship, we promptly brought our decision to our pastor. So here was the assignment: get a journal and extensively log all your expectations in marriage and after writing, exchange books with each other. Hmmmm…interesting!!!
While you may call our premarital counseling somewhat of a drive-by counseling, these two nerds took the assignment to task journeying across Jamaica with our journals. Whether with fresh caught fish on the seaside or discovering a castle on a mountainside, we pulled out our Expectations journals (EJ). Discovering each other stirred deep conversations.
Like flipping the pages of our hearts to view the next set of details we uncovered our expectations in marriage ranging from how we want to be loved to who washes the dishes. Dating became fruitful and very interesting.
As I often say, the marriage you’re going to have is already programmed into your heart. It therefore makes sense to unveil the heart unashamedly in the early stages so each gather enough information to know if this is the one worth committing to. Differences are certain, but an amicable conclusion can often be reached.
After honestly and diligently going through a range of topics in our EJ, we were better prepared to tackle the tumultuous early years of marriage, understanding each other’s expectations.
Here’s a taste of a question you’ll tackle in the EJ, “If we have a conflict, how would you like me to approach you?”
After 20 years of marriage, we want to help couples navigate through the premarital stages with the Expectations Journal.
Unlike a plain journal, we have made it special with prompts and pictures that you will make into your own memorabilia, while getting on the same page with your spouse. We have provided a list of potent subjects that premarital couples should certainly discuss before marriage.
Interestingly, we still have our Expectations Journal and carry them on almost every anniversary. We chuckle over want we use to expect and refresh what we now expect. This premarital tool can accompany you on any date.
Get ready! Choose a topic. Write your heart out about it! Exchange books !
You may think you know what to expect!
Enjoy each other!
Order your copy of The Expectations Journal by Tania Case on Amazon.com.