#marriageglue #untiesoultie

Meeting that someone, who is much more than all the other “someones” and feeling like this is home, is priceless!

There is a peace that tells you it’s safe to proceed. 

You’re getting to know each other and learning the nuances of relating to each other.  Some days you can see the future as plain as ever, while others you wonder if you can live with this imperfect human.   How dare him not be made in the image and the likeness of the man that you constructed in your head!

After all, that man is perfect!

Still, this relationship is causing you to get over your more blatant “Meology theology.”  You know the realization that the whole world does not move at your pace to accomplish your will.  Yea…especially if you’re in your 20’S it takes some reckoning.   Not to worry, change is at your door.

Marriage is in view and it’s scary exciting!  Okay, at times it’s downright frightening when you consider how much you have to give up to become one with this unknown entity.  At another glance, you wonder how you could be this blessed to have such a beautiful heart pant after yours.  If you get your eyes off the image of perfection you have constructed in your mind, you can admit that his character is what you have prayed for and desired.  After admitting that you love him and you’re in love with him, I have a question for you.

Can you follow his lead?  A godly woman should seek to answer this question before her heart completely melts at his acts of kindness and his projection for the future.  Before you consider marriage, you have to resolve that based on his core beliefs and persuasion, you can follow him.  As Christians, we understand that the Marriage Maker has made the man the head of the household and the woman his suitable mate.  This places the woman in a place of being very alert concerning who she allows her heart to be tangled with.  If you cannot follow his lead, you will lead a rebellion against him. 

“How can two walk together unless they agree?” Amos 3:3

You’d be surprised or not that you can easily attempt a coup against this man you love, for the marriage to go the way you see it.  It is crucial to know that you are following the lead of someone who himself is under God’s leadership and agrees that he aims to love you as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for it. 

I recall someone poking fun at a gentleman she considered suitable for me in the presence of my mentor, who snapped and wiped the smile off our faces.  In a strict tone, she opined, “She will not marry anyone who she can lead, or she will!”

“Wow!”

I had to admit that she was right.  I had to marry someone I honor and respect.  His persuasion and moral stance command honor before he says a word. I was confident that I could follow his lead, even when I wanted it my way.  I trusted who leads him to lead our family and our lives.

So ask yourself that question having noticed his consistency of character and devotion to God.  Save yourself the unnecessary trauma.  Consider why you’d be challenged to follow his lead.  Be honest with yourself before getting too attached. 

If your answer is ‘yes,’ happy courting!

Here’s a topic untouched: single Christian women setting sexual expectations for fellow brothers by breaching biblical standards. We’re not talking about it! Some sisters are finding it hard to foster a pure relationship that leads to marriage. The reason simply is that there are some ladies who are giving it all up to brothers who are not sold out to GOD. Brothers have come to expect it.

Then comes Sister Standard who dare to want to live the Bible. Live the Bible! She sees a man serving and seemingly all about GOD and gets involved in a developing relationship only to be surprised at his expectations. You know the subtle innuendos that he doesn’t want to come out of his mouth since his ears just might hear that it sounds ungodly, but he expects Sister Sanctified to pick up that he needs his appetite met. After which they’d go on with their relationship like nothing ever happened. At her refusal, he is stunned and she is equally stunned.

“How did this woman really expect this to work!”

“Why would I be dating a Christian brother if we’re going to live just like the world?”

Well this stops the music and the whole relationship!

He considers that he has so many options and she wasted his time. Time to move on to the other church girl who is much more accommodating. He is usually quite successful since there are many who strike out that part of the Bible due to its inconvenience in our modern day culture.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Eph 5:3

The sister is hurt and resolves that Christian men are no different from the unsaved men she encounters on her job.

Could this be avoided? Yes… to some extent. For example, you need to get to know the value system of a guy before investing your heart into the relationship. Yes some may lie. Still do your homework! Don’t bat an eye to let your standards of purity be known. You might lose him? That’s a worthy loss.

Let’s lay it out good and strong! There are blessings that two people who decide to keep it clean during courtship attract…even if you messed up in previous relationships. This is an agreement to honor GOD throughout your relationship. We cannot drop the standards because they seem out-dated in comparison to the sin-celebrating culture in which we traverse. God means what HE said! “Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.” In essence, if you choose His ways above your own, He will grant you your desires.

Besides, sex is a glue that binds people together often times. Imagine if he is not your husband how difficult it will be for you to think straight long enough to break it off. It’s not hard to develop a soul tie as result, which is a construct intended for making the two become one in marriage.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Or don’t you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 1Cor 6:15-16

Sisters, you might be making it hard for another sister through your compromise…but even more than that, you’re robbing yourself of the blessings that accompanies obedience. Have you ever attended a wedding that you know GOD kissed? I want that to be your wedding. Be the “good thing” that is sought after.