How Will I Know If He Really Loves Me?

“There are three things that are too amazing for me,

    four that I do not understand:

19 the way of an eagle in the sky,

    the way of a snake on a rock,

the way of a ship on the high seas,

    and the way of a man with a young woman.

Prov 30:18-19

Mystified…the writer of this Proverb, Agur, admitted that he could not understand the way of a man around a woman.  I can imagine him watching the excited young man carefully carrying out his plan of wooing the lady.

It was a mystery to him, and he is not alone. 

I’ve got good news! Not to worry!  Read along…there are plenty of ways to decode the actions and words of the man and find out if he really loves you.

Are you even ready to know, though?

1.     Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks Lk 6:45

With the strong lead we could ascertain what’s in his heart from what he regularly speaks about or how he speaks to you.  What is it that he is saying?  Still, this is not enough to hang your heart on, since many men are known to be lyricists and can find the exact words to tickle your ears, creep into your heart and convince you.

We’ll have to do better…

2.     Where a man’s treasure is, there is heart is also. Mt 6:21

What does he do with his money and his time? Does he withhold them from you while using them for others? (Please note:  If you are not his wife, your bills are still your bills)

Giving is one of the most natural expressions of love in any relationship.  A man who loves you delights in giving from whatever he has.

3.     Speaking of treasures, does he discern your value? 

He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.

It is your value that he perceives and therefore resolves that you are good for him.  When he knows how valuable you are, his treatment of you will reflect it.  Don’t settle for less than that.

4.     Sacrifice… John 15:13  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…Eph 5:25

So you are now armed with information to help you discern the heart of a man who proposes that he really loves you. 

Sista!Stop it!

Here’s a topic untouched: single Christian women setting sexual expectations for fellow brothers by breaching biblical standards. We’re not talking about it! Some sisters are finding it hard to foster a pure relationship that leads to marriage. The reason simply is that there are some ladies who are giving it all up to brothers who are not sold out to GOD. Brothers have come to expect it.

Then comes Sister Standard who dare to want to live the Bible. Live the Bible! She sees a man serving and seemingly all about GOD and gets involved in a developing relationship only to be surprised at his expectations. You know the subtle innuendos that he doesn’t want to come out of his mouth since his ears just might hear that it sounds ungodly, but he expects Sister Sanctified to pick up that he needs his appetite met. After which they’d go on with their relationship like nothing ever happened. At her refusal, he is stunned and she is equally stunned.

Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

“How did this woman really expect this to work!”

“Why would I be dating a Christian brother if we’re going to live just like the world?”

Well this stops the music and the whole relationship!

He considers that he has so many options and she wasted his time. Time to move on to the other church girl who is much more accommodating. He is usually quite successful since there are many who strike out that part of the Bible due to its inconvenience in our modern day culture.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Eph 5:3

“Yea…knew they were all the same!”
Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay

The sister is hurt and resolves that Christian men are no different from the unsaved men she encounters on her job.

Could this be avoided? Yes… to some extent. For example, you need to get to know the value system of a guy before investing your heart into the relationship. Yes some may lie. Still do your homework! Don’t bat an eye to let your standards of purity be known. You might lose him? That’s a worthy loss.

Let’s lay it out good and strong! There are blessings that two people who decide to keep it clean during courtship attract…even if you messed up in previous relationships. This is an agreement to honor GOD throughout your relationship. We cannot drop the standards because they seem out-dated in comparison to the sin-celebrating culture in which we traverse. God means what HE said! “Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.” In essence, if you choose His ways above your own, He will grant you your desires.

Besides, sex is a glue that binds people together often times. Imagine if he is not your husband how difficult it will be for you to think straight long enough to break it off. It’s not hard to develop a soul tie as result, which is a construct intended for making the two become one in marriage.

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Or don’t you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 1Cor 6:15-16

Sisters, you might be making it hard for another sister through your compromise…but even more than that, you’re robbing yourself of the blessings that accompanies obedience. Have you ever attended a wedding that you know GOD kissed? I want that to be your wedding. Be the “good thing” that is sought after.

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