“He Said…She said’
Like a well-oiled machine, benevolence ministry took off as Jala envisioned it. She couldn’t help feeling a sense of accomplishment as volunteers filed in and issues were being passed on to the counselling department of the church. She realized that the two ministries worked hand in hand. Jala oftentimes consulted with persons and heard their situations and then filtered them to the appropriate ministries. Mrs. Lueth, Jala’s mentor, was training new persons in the counselling department only two doors down from the benevolence room.
Chari had laundered the clothes that came in, ironing and folding them neatly. She had them well organized and almost looking new. Meanwhile, Jala handed out numerous packages to the poor and sought ways to extend the ministry to meet the needs. Abe served passionately in his lane, linking men with local job opportunities with the help of Ephraim. Friday evening was the busiest evening for benevolence and this Friday the four friends were tired and hungry.
Pastor Pruitt had the hospitality department treat all the persons working in counselling and benevolence to finger-foods in the courtyard. As they ate, a spontaneous discussion on marriage erupted and over 20 young adults were fully engaged.
“I’m living my best life now and any man who can’t handle that, too bad!”
Knowing how passionate she can become, Jala wanted to stay as far as she could from the discussion, so she busied herself serving the food.
Abe could not resist, “So, your best life means everything done your way?”
“Why should she put her life on pause waiting for a man?” snapped Samantha, who had broken off a relationship with Abe years ago after letting him know he was not assertive enough in the relationship.
Ephraim, who had snuck in to hang some hooks Jala had asked him to install added, “It doesn’t sound like a man has any room to enter that ‘best life’.”
Gavin, known to be a sharpshooter, opined bluntly, “As a man, I find a lot of Christian women either too full of themselves or too desperate! Just sayin’.”
“Wait…wait now!” said Sister Becky, who had been married for years, trying to keep the conversation from escalating.
Still, Gavin was not yet done.
“It’s true, if you give a woman a compliment, the next thing you hear is that she’s planning the wedding and you don’t even know!”
Jala managed to stay on the outskirts of the conversation until she heard Gavin’s statement.
“If men would stop intentionally leading women on,” started Jala with flared lips and hands on her hips, “yes, asking probing questions about the woman’s dream marriage after sweet-talking her on the phone every night only to find out he makes several of those calls and have several women dangling not knowing if he’s in a relationship with them. That’s the real problem!”
“Ohhhh!” The courtyard exploded as persons were surprised that Jala called it out this way!
“Well let’s talk about it!” Aunty Lu was glad to address the matter. “I counsel many in this church with the same issues you all have brought up. I must say the blame is shared as it concerns men leading women on and women being way too gullible.”
Walking over to the women she added, “Women, I would suggest that you assume nothing of his intentions but a friendship until you are clearly approached. At this time, you can consider if he is worth it.”
“If he is worth it!” shouted Cassandra as she sprang to her feet, pointing like a teacher to the other ladies. “Some of them are certainly not! After spending so much effort on making yourself a class of a woman, why pick up an underpaid man?”
“So, a man is not a man unless he is making more than you, Cassandra? Now we are getting down to what matters to them, men!”
The men rose to their feet with rumbles of disagreement.
It was Aunty Lu to the rescue again. She knows just how to balance firmness and kindness in the tone of her voice.
“Men and Women,” she said with hands raised, “how many of you agree that you both need each other?
The place was still, but not peaceful.
Ephraim stepped out from the men. “Mrs. Lueth, while we agree that we need the women, do you see the predicament us men face? We are being discriminated against for not climbing the ladder of success as fast or faster than these godly women, not to mention if we are not as spiritually mature as they imagine we should be. What is your advice to us?
“Before I answer your question Ephraim, let me ask how many women here would not consider courting a man if he is not as or more spiritually and financially grounded?
Some hands went up, while others did not.
Ephraim subtly glance over at Jala to see if her hand was up. Jala’s arms were folded as she looked intently at Aunty Lu.
“Well Ephraim, now you can see that not all women think the same way. The one you will marry will honour and love you despite where you are in your journey. She will value the person you are and the one you are becoming. Together you will be a rock for each other.
“Wow!” marvelled Ephraim. “Would it be ok to give you a hug?”
Aunty Lu gave him one of her healing hugs and Ephraim grinned. A sober look was left on each face.
Chari shouted, “To be continued!”
Jala headed to the benevolence room to lock up after the discussion and Efraim was right behind her.
It puzzled him that his friend who he had come to accept as a stickler for an already made man…did not agree that a man must make more money than she does.
“I’ll get the windows,” Ephraim said, stepping in front of Jala to pull shut the two sliding windows.
“That was such a robust discussion. It’s good to hear young people honestly express themselves.
“Your church doesn’t do that?” enquired Jala.
“Well, we’re probably not as open and down to earth as here. I’m surprised though at you.”
“At me? What did I do again?”
The two headed down the corridor.
I noticed that you didn’t agree that a man must earn more than you to be a suitable mate.
“And that’s surprising to you?”
“What else did you assume about me Ephraim?”
“Not much. I am just trying to get to know you lot and I was surprised that you’re not one of those women who would not even give a thought to an average guy. “
“Fraim, I’ve watched my mom struggle with us while our father roams the earth having more children and leaving them with no support. So, I don’t think less of my sisters who believe a man must really be put together well before he is an option. I was like them and if I don’t keep my focus on the GOD who keeps me,
there go I.
“Wow! I never thought of it that way Jala. Maybe, I have assumed a lot. It seemed to me that you came from the perfect family and that’s why you’re so proper and well put together. Jala laughed as they leaned against the car talking.
“You know….those perfect families you see getting into their cars after church. As for me…I grew up without any of my parents. It’s my sweet grandmother who raised me. Yea and she was amazing. Still I wondered what it would be like.
“At least I have a mom, gosh that must have been hard for you.
“The truth is grandma poured love into me and taught me a lot. My father, her son, died in a freak accident when I was 3…I hardly remember him.”
“Fraim! Can I get a ride with you?” Chari came charging out of the building. “Abe got caught up in another argument with Cassandra and Gavin. Imagine if we had a single’s ministry. This is what it would look like? War!”
If you have missed the last 4 in the Church Girl Series…your in the right place…wifematerial.blog. Take a read and learn more about the jagged journey of these characters at a church near you.(more…)
Jala was almost finished helping Mrs Lueth prepare for all the young adults who were coming over for fun and fellowship that Saturday afternoon. Mrs. Lueth’s house was big enough to accommodate several groups of young adults at the same time and she enjoyed having them over. Jala could hear Mrs. Lueth calling her softly as she finished cleaning off the kitchen countertop.
Jala sank into one of the plush brown outdoor chairs on the balcony, suspicious of what might be coming next.
“Auntie Lu, what’s going on?”
“Something’s been on my mind recently since you introduced me to that young man.”
“Oh dear!” Jala let out a sigh as she cuddled one on the cushions placing one hand under chin. “Do we really have to talk about Ephraim?”
“Aaah… we don’t have to talk about Ephraim, but we do have to talk about you. I’ve been praying for you, asking GOD what’s happening? Jala…You are in a series of reaction. I only wonder if you can see what you’re reacting to.”
Jala felt something in the pit of her stomach. This conversation has gone so deep so fast. She knew she could not be surface her answers to Mrs. Lueth. She was motherly with a dark chocolate complexion and pleasingly plump, with deep dimples that created apostrophes around her smile.
“Auntie, I don’t want to go back to where I’m coming from.” The tears started welling up in Jala’s eyes but Auntie Lue was not letting up. Her gentle countenance was most disarming, backed by her evident love. She folded Jala into a side hug which softly communicated that there was no getting away.
“You’re in quite a fight Jala. I see you waging a war against what started on the inside of you. When you end the war inside you’ll end the war outside.”
“These people hurt me! They dragged my name through the mud. Hardly any ever asked me to my face what happened. People I trusted spread lies about me and him. I’m still so embarrassed. I genuinely thought Jonathan loved me and was interested in being married to me. We got prophesies, Auntie!”
Jala was breaking and tears were flowing from her broken heart as she struggled to control her usually well guarded emotions.
“People said I slept with him! Oh my goodness Auntie. I felt like a church floozy! Me…a virgin!”
“It’s ok precious. It’s ok!” Auntie held her the more but Jala heaved until they were both on the tiled floor.
“Just let it out.”
“I never talked about it! I felt too ashamed. I messed up! I went too far with him. I could hardly talk to God after my repeated offence. Again I felt ashamed. Auntie….only to find out I was just one of the girls he was with in the church?
Her mouth opened with no words or sound, just tears. All this time Jala toughened up and blamed herself for being this foolish.
Auntie moaned alongside Jala like a midwife helping her to give birth.
“Let it out,” she comforted.
“It wasn’t even a month later he was engaged! I looked like I was trying break up their union…Auntie I wanted answers! Why did he choose me to make a fool of and why didn’t I see? How did I miss God?”
After many tears and snot, Mrs Lueth prayed her red hot fiery prayer for Jala, who was like a soaked handkerchief.
“You must forgive yourself Jala. You’ve repented for you part. Receive God’s forgiveness and freely give forgiveness to those who hurt you. The more you hold on to the pain, the less able you are to move forward. Your healing has started.”
Mrs. Lueth wiped her face.” Jala, remember that Ephraim was not there. He should not be punished for what others did.
“I knew that in my head. I felt I could not allow him to think for a moment that I was interested in him. I realized that I really enjoy his friendship once there was no threat of a relationship or others thinking there was.
Mrs. Lueth could hear the cars pulling into the cul de sac and got up to remotely open the gates from the balcony so that the early birds could park in the yard.
Walking back to Jala she added, “Don’t waste your energy trying to get people not to talk about you. My mother once told me, ‘Live free and let people be.'”
Jala quickly got off the floor, to fix up before everyone was inside the house. “Thank you Aunty Lue. I feel so light. Yes, and free!”
As soon as she disappeared in the bathroom, Chari’s loud voice filled the house.
“Auntie Lue, I smell something good!”
Abe and Ephraim followed behind carrying all the bags Chari gave them to take in the house.
“Hello my children,” Auntie did a dance coming down the stairs. She greeted them one by one and made effort to especially welcome Ephraim.
“Where’s Jala, Aunt?”
It’s been a hectic morning. She’s gone to shower.”
“So Ephraim I hear that you go to the Baptist Church not far from us.”
“Yes, mam,” answered Ephraim trying not to appear awkward while fighting the memory of his first introduction to Aunty Lue.
The three sat around the island in the kitchen, while Auntie Lue plastic wrapped the trays of food and chatted about her friends at the Baptist Church that Ephraim attends.
The bell rang again as Jala came into the kitchen greeting everyone and she grabbed the remote to open up from the balcony.
“Can I help you with anything,” asked Ephraim.
“Great, thank you. Ephraim, you take the igloo out to the balcony, Abe you get the ice from the deep freezer and Chari you come with me.”
As Ephraim headed to the balcony he hesitated as if he wanted to make a u-turn.
“Fraim, sang Jala, I’m so glad you came.”
“Really, cause I don’t want to embarrass you anymore.”
“You don’t embarrass me, but I’m embarrassed about my behaviour toward you. Could we please start over?
Jala extended her hand for a handshake.
“Nope,” Ephraim turned his back.
“But we can pick up from the where we left off in benevolence.”
Jala slowly breathed a sigh of relief, quickly shaking Ephraim’s hand.
“Friends,” they both agreed.
Auntie Lue glanced at them and gave out a “Thank you Jesus!”
Chari and Abe were just in time to create a huddle and a strong bond was formed.
Hey, we’re not done. More Church Girl Series coming. Tell us if you can relate these characters and scenarios. Jot us a line and be sure to share the story with friends. Thanks in advance!