The wedding was a major accomplishment! The outstanding and exquisite moments of the day stay on replay in your thoughts. The honeymoon felt like a dream that took you into a whole new world together. Finally together without restraint. Returning to a home made for the establishment of this union, has many sweet spots. Although life’s demands barged in, the honeymoon continues, except for a few punctuated moments…

“Clearly we are one!”

Everyday living carries with it a fair amount of revelations.


(Parading its proud self down the runway void of applause.) Here is…


“How could you hear that from what I just said?”


“That’s not what I was trying to say.”

Mis- Takes

“Why are you taking offense at that little thing?”

Each conflict is accompanied by fear. It would do each person a lot of good to identify the fear found in the conflict and confront it in one’s self. Early conflicts in marriage can feel overwhelming and daunting since they are not planned for or even foreseen. The thought comes to mind in the moment, that this situation is permanent and you’re stuck!


What you are encountering is common to man and woman. Now you understand how different your backgrounds are and how also different your expectations. The same misplaced issues can benefit you greatly depending on how you handle them.

Communicate not to win the argument but for the union to win. This takes practice and maturity to put aside selfishness.

Understanding that this person you just married, loves you and does not have the motive of hurting you, lessens the weight of offense. Motive matters.

Take time to learn each other as a student studies a new subject and understands that there will be a lot of give and takes in the process of the two becoming one.

You are both in a period of great adjustments and this requires giving each other the space to be imperfect, but loved. Ladies, he may have a different concept of clean – be patient. Remember not to hyper-correct all things that defy your marital expectations.

Don’t even entertain the thought of going home, you are home!

Welcome to Marriage!

It’s a wonderful work!

Flesh Fight

Does your flesh have a voice? Mine certainly does. My advantage is that I know who is speaking in sometimes the sweetest most soothing tones with words I totally want to hear. These are often words of comfort that encourages me to avoid a challenge. Can you relate? I thought so.

Flesh seems to talk to you in the areas you’re in need of discipline: social media, juicy conversations, sexual pleasures, food indulgence, unnecessary purchases, etc.

Story Time

After months of failing to launch, I decided to begin a workout regime that I would not break until it becomes a habit (over 21 days non-stop). Before now, the goal seemed elusive.”Discipline!” Interestingly, some of us are disciplined in some areas but fall flat on our chest in other areas.

For six days I resolved to fling my flesh before the screen and sweat. To arrive at this place I refused to consult my feelings. This time I didn’t check for results in order to be motivated to come back. No, this time it’s all about the discipline of doing it.

So, early in the morning before I started the day, a conversation began in my head.

Said Flesh, “you do know that you’re tired, right? You’ve been going. This is the day to skip and get some rest.”

Said I, “Oh really, that’s true. I am tired. Yes, didn’t they say you should rest between work outs?”

Said Flesh, “Ahh…there you go. You’ll catch back up soon.”

As the conversation ended, I was resolved that this was the plan for the already hectic day.

What a strategy! Before I could think straight a plan of failure that soothed my flesh was rolled out.

Thankfully, as the morning wore on I became smarter and accepted a new resolve. I took on an aggressive workout that riveted my deal with discipline.

“I discipline my body like an athlete…” 1 Cor 9:27

So what are you tripping over owing to the flesh talks? Not because it’s a thought means it’s “a thing!” Go for a fresh new thought in the direction of your goal. You’ll find one. Firstly, you have to have a goal in mind. If that is not clear, indiscipline will feed on you like hungry piranhas.

Beyond flesh, be careful not to give feelings too much of a place of prominence in your decision making.

It might not be exercise for you, but you must be in control or something else will master you. When your flesh talks, talk back with the Word of GOD.

How? For sinful urges…confess “Be holy as I the Lord am holy.” “Yes GOD I agree…I know I can be holy since you told me to be holy. ” Seek verses applicable to your challenge and confess them. We are training our flesh to comply with the Spirit.

For indiscipline…”I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.” 1Cor 9:27.

You have the help of the Holy Spirit…ask for it. You’re not left alone. “Submit to GOD, resist the devil and he will flee.” James 4:7

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