#cherishedwoman

Character: Bones of a Strong Relationship

There are some inexplicable features in a person’s character that distinguishes them from others.  It draws you in and makes them miss-able upon their departure.  Something in you is magnetized to them and you come alive! But is a strong relationship much more than an attraction on various levels?

Many things that we like about people can change with the arrival of new circumstances and before long you are introduced to a brand-new person.  Or is it?  We’ve all heard of marriages that were dissolved because a person ‘changed.’ It could be that the person never did change but simply let down his/her guard.

“What makes a person truly beautiful is their consistency of character.  Character is found at the very core of a person – the heart.”

taniacase.com

Character -.

the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual

Oxford Language

What makes a person truly beautiful is their consistency of character.  Character is found at the very core of a person.  It’s what determines what they would sacrifice for and find great delight to do, even though the benefit to them may seem miniscule. 

As a person engages in a relationship that has marriage as its end game, this notable personal feature must be prioritized. 

You might say that’s hard.  How do you know someone’s character? 

The truth is that there is a myriad of activities in our world that can make a person look like “the one.”  For example, romantic acts that he reads out of a play book or duplicated from a friend. It is wonderful that he made the effort to woo you, but the act is not the character. 

Character Detecting

Wait a minute…Detecting godly character…..

There are some tell tale signs of a person’s character.  Let’s start with a big one – Money.  It’s not how much he/she makes.  It’s how he/she spends it.  “For where your treasure is there your heart is also.” Mat 6:21 Your use of money tells what you prioritize and what you value.

How you spend your Time does the same, along with displaying the order you keep or maintain in your life.

How you use your Words will eventually reveal your heart.  “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Mat 12:34

How you handle Disappointments or Pressure, great or small, indicate your heart posture and mindset.

How much he/she Sacrifices for you and the relationship, reveals its value to him/her.

These are heavy enough clues to help you identify the character of persons before investing of yourself deeply into a relationship.

Character makes a man who made a promise to a child, go out of his way to fulfill his word. Character makes a woman carve out time to visit with her aged parent, while resisting all the other seemingly greater demands. Character makes a person prioritize tithing, serving and fulfilling commitments in Church. Character makes a man whose testosterones are urging him to go further sexually, seek to protect the woman he’s with and honor the God he serves. Telltale signs of true character are all over your relationships.

Are you seeing enough character to persuade you that he/she is the one?

Visit taniacase.com to further learn how to build strong Kingdom relationships.

Draw Us Together…

We’re in London, England on our first anniversary…what could go wrong?

Sorry I asked…

We were chipper leaving the hotel and heading off into the great unknown to make our own anniversary adventure.  Oxford Circus was a buzz and an exciting vibrant atmosphere surrounded us as we delighted in all its architectural offerings.

Admittedly, it was a little dampening when we learnt we could not catch any of our favourite plays in a theatre that day since they were fully booked. Still, if there was one thing we were – it was hope-full.

We shook that off and headed for dinner.  You know, a little fancy restaurant to enjoy fine cuisine.  The restaurant we settled with didn’t look ideal but we thought it might do the trick.  After ordering, we chatted and shared our excitement about being on tour with the band for a month as well as all we would do together.  Soon our Italian cuisine arrived and though not visually stimulating, we were ready for “new.”  We got just that!  Frozen squid in tomato sauce plopped on top of spaghetti, was new. 

Eventually, we gave up on food and decided to browse the vibrant Oxford Circus.  We soon found a struggling Czech Republic migrant who drew this picture with one pencil.  He captured some facial features well and missed others, but we were happy.   

Night was starting to fall and we decided to catch the train back to our hotel, after getting some directions to the station. We soon realised we were lost, very lost! We were lost for hours. All the honey in our moon was gone and we became annoyed with each other. We waved at taxis one after the other and stood confused as to why they ignore us.  Hours passed and it was dark…and hopeless.  We comforted each other, feeling the scourge of rejection. It dawned on us that we were Black.  After praying, waving at more taxis and waiting, a kind taxi driver drove past us and returned.  Interestingly, he dropped us in front of our hotel in under 5 mins. We were so close to the hotel.

As we entered the hotel lobby, we were greeted by band members who added the icing to our ‘anniversary experience.’ They informed us that the tour had been cancelled and we had to find a place to stay by tomorrow! 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

We laughed and laughed! Indeed, we were on a longer ‘adventure’ since we were stuck in England for a month now, with no more concerts.  We decided to make the most of it and ride every wave that came. 

At the end of that night, we ordered room service and had the best lasagna ever!  We celebrated our love for each other and apologized for the moments we lost track of the main things. Looking back over the 21 years of marriage. Our attitude has been a lot like that first anniversary.  We challenge each challenge together as one force and laugh a lot.   

Cherish…

Cherish…to hold or treat as dear; feel love for

For years I have counseled ladies to check for the clear signs that a guy cherishes them. It may seem quite simple and even a little insignificant, but think again. The reason a man cherishes a woman is because he has discerned the level of her value. Without that sense of treasuring you, he can easily mistake your identity and mistreat you.

Let’s find a biblical basis for this claim.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God.” Proverbs 18:22

If the man does not recognize that you are a “good thing” that leads him to increase in favor with God, you cannot expect him to truly cherish you. Your value is lost on him. It is important to identify that quality in your relationship. When you are treasured, you are treated with love, care and caution.

Take a look at one of my favorite Kings – King Lemuel.

“A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

This King understood that to find this woman is rare. He likens her worth to more than that of rubies! Do you think that he understood and cherished the value that this woman carries? Let’s be fair. Notice the woman that this man cherished. She is of noble character.

These words are used to describe the Chayil

woman’s qualities:

strength, might, efficiency, a force like an army, rich in abilities

She is a woman of valor.

So while we advocate for being cherished in a relationship, we equally urge you to possess high character qualities that will make it abundantly clear that you are a daughter of the true King and therefore royalty. Value yourself and you will be setting the standard for how you are treated.

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