“There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
19 the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a young woman.
Mystified…the writer of this Proverb, Agur, admitted that he could not understand the way of a man around a woman. I can imagine him watching the excited young man carefully carrying out his plan of wooing the lady.
It was a mystery to him, and he is not alone.
I’ve got good news! Not to worry! Read along…there are plenty of ways to decode the actions and words of the man and find out if he really loves you.
Are you even ready to know, though?
1. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks Lk 6:45
With the strong lead we could ascertain what’s in his heart from what he regularly speaks about or how he speaks to you. What is it that he is saying? Still, this is not enough to hang your heart on, since many men are known to be lyricists and can find the exact words to tickle your ears, creep into your heart and convince you.
We’ll have to do better…
2. Where a man’s treasure is, there is heart is also. Mt 6:21
What does he do with his money and his time? Does he withhold them from you while using them for others? (Please note: If you are not his wife, your bills are still your bills)
Giving is one of the most natural expressions of love in any relationship. A man who loves you delights in giving from whatever he has.
3. Speaking of treasures, does he discern your value?
He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.
It is your value that he perceives and therefore resolves that you are good for him. When he knows how valuable you are, his treatment of you will reflect it. Don’t settle for less than that.
4. Sacrifice… John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…Eph 5:25
So you are now armed with information to help you discern the heart of a man who proposes that he really loves you.
Cherish…to hold or treat as dear; feel love for
For years I have counseled ladies to check for the clear signs that a guy cherishes them. It may seem quite simple and even a little insignificant, but think again. The reason a man cherishes a woman is because he has discerned the level of her value. Without that sense of treasuring you, he can easily mistake your identity and mistreat you.
Let’s find a biblical basis for this claim.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God.” Proverbs 18:22
If the man does not recognize that you are a “good thing” that leads him to increase in favor with God, you cannot expect him to truly cherish you. Your value is lost on him. It is important to identify that quality in your relationship. When you are treasured, you are treated with love, care and caution.
Take a look at one of my favorite Kings – King Lemuel.
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10
This King understood that to find this woman is rare. He likens her worth to more than that of rubies! Do you think that he understood and cherished the value that this woman carries? Let’s be fair. Notice the woman that this man cherished. She is of noble character.
These words are used to describe the Chayil
strength, might, efficiency, a force like an army, rich in abilities
She is a woman of valor.
So while we advocate for being cherished in a relationship, we equally urge you to possess high character qualities that will make it abundantly clear that you are a daughter of the true King and therefore royalty. Value yourself and you will be setting the standard for how you are treated.