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GROW!

Let’s face it- you don’t stand a chance of having a Big Bang happen in your life and you just become an awesome and efficient person – reigning in the various aspects of your life. No! NO! Nope!  Let no one deceive you.  The success you want to see comes by making one good decision behind the other over time.  Yes, I said it “time!” You’re not a pop tart!  It will take time to have the kind of mindset that places you in a rhythm of making wise decisions.  As a maturing woman, I can attest that there are some silly things we do, hoping that it will just work out. However, we’ll continue to get the results we don’t want until we accept that we must change!

“Knock, knock underdeveloped teenage brain!”

I recall living in St. Petersburg, Florida as a teen, one street over from my Uncle William, who was quite the stickler for discipline and order.  Needless to say, I was not like him. The term “flying by the seat of my pants,” would best describe me.  After the umpteenth time, I was locked out of my own house because didn’t prioritize taking up my keys before leaving home, I didn’t want Uncle William to have to give me another lecture on carelessness. If he did, I would have to sing another song in my head loudly to get through the unending lecture on “what if’s!” I thought, “How did he become so unhappy in life? All he has to do is let me into my house!”  Eventually, I started finding ways to break-in in the most inconspicuous ways, of course.  Knock, knock underdeveloped teenage brain! Walk with your keys! Finally, I created the keychain of the century with every creative expression of myself on it.  It was hard to forget anywhere and the problem stopped! Aah!

Doors will continue to be closed until you either find the right keys to open them or have the authority to enter them!  It is unlikely for the door to change, but it is necessary that we do! What are the things that you have been demanding to change in your life?  Do you need to take some time to ascertain the correct key to open that door or the actions that authorizes your entrance?

If I were asked to pay a toll for a Bible verse, it would be this one.  “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” Prov 23:7. Hmmmn…let’s put the pieces together.  You’re going to have to find out what you think in your heart genuinely if you are going to see changes in your life.  What we believe is in clear demonstration in our lives right now.  Stop and look at your life…you’re looking at your belief system.

What you prioritize is because of what you believe.

How you spend your time and money on is because of what you believe.

What you’re offended by is because of what you believe.

What gives you great joy is because of what you believe.

How hard you work is because of what you believe.

The friends you have is because of what you believe.

I choose nothing less to recalibrate my belief system but the infallible Word of GOD. To think like GOD, I have to steadily fill up on His Word.  Any part of my life that does not reflect His Word is a place where I am deficient in my intake and output.  Let’s grow past some failures by changing our stubborn mindsets. 

First, begin with what’s not working, and, secondly, accept that your mindset must change. Thirdly, find out what the Bible says about the topic and meditate on it.  Lastly, begin to take steps toward doing otherwise. We’ll talk more about it in the next blog.

Here’s your jolt for the greatest 2025!

Visit us at Taniacase.com to sign up for our mentorship programs.

Certainly well ahead of marriage!! We are passionate about setting a strong foundation for flourishing marriages and that’s what we’ll be doing at our upcoming Singles Conference on November 16…online and physically.  We’re unearthing the mystery of the One Flesh union…session after interactive session. We want to ready you for marriage!

“Who Has Bewitched You?”

Are you ready for my raspberry and garlic sticky chicken? I’m just going to drop the wings in the bowl and coat them just right! Mmmuah! Yummeeee!”

Mrs. Lueth loves the kitchen almost as much as she loves having young adults over for Bible Study.  When you put the two together, like they are tonight, you get one happy woman.

“When I was young like you lot, I didn’t have time to be bored. I was busy planning the next young  adult lyme.  Come now, on the balcony all of you!”  Her balcony was like a big open room under the stars.  Efraim, Jonathon and Abe helped to carry out more chairs for the almost 30 young adults who were attending another one of Auntie Lue’s events.  Jala was preoccupied with who was coming to the gate as Aunty Lue raised a song to get everyone settled. 

“Where is Chari?” Abe asked Jala.

“That’s what I am wondering.  I was going to swing by her after work before coming here but she told me to go on and she’d meet me here,” added Jala.

“Odd, she’s usually in the kitchen with Auntie Lue preparing before the event.”

“I’m not getting her on her phone either and that’s not like her.”

“Well, she knows we are here and it’s not too far from her house either,” reassured Abe returning to the group.

The Bible Study was about the purpose of a renewed mind according to Roman 12 and the discussion was open and honest, though challenging for some.

As Mrs. Lueth riveted the truth, “Unless you are intimate with the Word, the Bible, you will not know His perfect will.  His will is His Word! Besides, when you read this Word, you should ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate what He is saying to you, so you can grow in relationship with God,” she summed.

Jala was distracted all night waiting to hear from Chari.  It wasn’t until she got home that she saw a shallow message on her phone.

“Sorry, I couldn’t make it.  I got caught up!”

Jala was even more disturbed and wondered how her friend could waste her evening and blow it off with such a flimsy excuse.

She couldn’t wait to call her in the morning.

As the phone rang, Jala quickly answered and told her friend, “Before you get mad! I have such exciting news!”

“Yes and No!  So, I’ve met these wonderful people who are all in business and they help each other build their businesses.  Trust me, I’ve brainstormed with them concerning Vibe and woooo!  It’s an entire vibe! They are super brilliant and well-established young entrepreneurs  and you won’t believe this…they are Christians!”

“No way!”

“You’ve got to meet them.  I told them about you and the guys and they are excited to meet you all!

“I’m excited to meet them too!”chimed Jala.

For the next couple of weeks Jala saw less and less of Chari, as the appropriate meet-up time with her new business Christian friends became more elusive.  Even the guys noticed that Chari was not present at benevolence but Jala was doing everything to keep the operation on par.

Efraim and Abe insisted that after benevolence this Friday, they were taking Jala out to her favourite French café.  As she closed up, she tried to dissuade the fellows.  Jala wanted to feel low all by herself, but the guys were not allowing it.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! harped Efraim as Abe took her handbag.

“I think it fits me, it brings out the blue in my eyes.” Abe modeled his way down the hall, while Efraim laughed and dragged Jala along.

“C’mon, cheer up. Chari isn’t gone anywhere.  We all have other friends and our friendship still survives.”

“I know that…you guys, but Chari is like a different person now.  She doesn’t return my calls and when she does it’s bla la la…about them!  ‘Oh, you’ve got to meet Todd and Mishka’ she mimicked.”

“You’re not jealous though?  I know you feel bad but…she is about to launch her magazine and we know that she has been waiting for this from forever.  If they can help her, why not?” reasoned Abe.

“Abraham, do you not know how far we have come from with these dreams? Of course, I know that!  The truth is that I am happy for my friend but something just doesn’t feel right.”

Efraim opened Jala’s car door explaining, “If you ask me, I’d say she still needs our support and we have to be there for her.  So, if that means showing up where we’re not invited…

“Speaking of not invited!” Abe interrupted. “Isn’t that Chari?”

As the three took their seats near the sidewalk, they could see a large party of people celebrating inside the café.  There was Chari, obviously the center of the celebration.  Jala sunk in her seat and covered her face with the menu.  Abe popped up and exclaimed. “We finally get to meet them!”

“No way! I’m not going!”

The two guys headed inside and Jala was torn.  She definitely doesn’t want to go in but it looked really childish to sit outside and ignore her friend.

“Ok, fine!”

Chari screamed with her hands over her mouth as she saw them coming.

“These are my friends, guys! Abe, Efraim and Jala!

“Wow, we heard a lot about you all,” greeted a mature lady in the group.

 The group consisted of mostly young professionals who politely greeted the three before resuming their evening activities.

Jala returned to her table with a question mark on her face. Before she could get out a word, Efraim started.

“Well you know what I’m about to say…not I told you so, but we need to pray!  Though I was so distracted at Auntie Lue’s Bible study, it hit me that the Word of God helps to grow my discernment.  I’ve been troubled and I judged my motive.  Is there any jealousy in me? Now I know that God was calling my attention to something that has been off with my friend.  These people say they are Christians but something is not adding up.  We’re hitting a fast guys.”

“I noticed that a few of them had on a symbol on their chains.”

“Ok, Efraim, draw the symbol and let me google it,” said Abe. Efraim started doodling on his napkin and Abe took a picture.

Before long the guys had found the society associated with the symbol and the gravity of Chari’s situation was magnified.

Abe and Efraim considered physically going for her but Jala’s wisdom overruled that decision. 

“We cannot fight a spiritual battle by physical means!”

“Why doesn’t she see it?”

No one had an appetite after their discovery.

For the next three days the friends fasted and prayed, meeting in the wee hours of the morning to pray for Chari. 

The Friday night before the launch of Vibe Magazine, the three friends were serving in benevolence ministry when Abe’s phone rang.

“Please come and get me!”

“Come guys let’s go. It’s Chari!” 

As they hurried down the hall they nearly bumped into Auntie Lue.

“Why the hurry?”

“It’s Chari!”

“I’m coming!” 

Jala had filled her in concerning Chari’s new company of friends and their discovery about the society.

When Abe pulled up alongside the building Chari told him she was in, he could see her working her way down the external staircase in a hurry.  He hopped out the car and opened the door for her to enter.  As soon as Chari was inside the vehicle, she gasped and let out a holler.  Jala and Auntie Lue hugged her, being patient for her to share when she got to it.

“Why? Why can’t I get a break? Why?”

Abe drove hard and fast since he did not know what the back story was.

 They told her she did not have time for friends at a certain level since God wanted her to grow and be about his business.  Chari said she felt uncomfortable at times but she was seeking to be diligent in doing the groundwork needed to launch the magazine company. 

At the last meeting, they asked her to make a higher level of commitment to ensure that they could also commit to back the magazine company.  They explained that they would be her church now and that their members were from varying religious backgrounds and orientations and should be accepted as she wanted to be accepted. Chari explained how she began asking questions that got the leader angry.  She was to have a commitment service tonight but after raising a plethora of concerns the members began giving her the cold shoulder and she was given an ultimatum. She could enjoy a failure-proof magazine company or be cut off from them and continue feeling stuck in her career.

Auntie Lue and the friends formed a circle around Chari and began praying fervently. Chari coughed incessantly until she was lying on the ground like a wet rag.  Auntie Lue led her in prayers of repentance and prayed fierce protective prayers over her as her friends agreed.  Without realizing it, they had prayed until after 1 am.  Though Chari felt too weak to walk, her mind was clear and joy and peace were hers again.  This was supposed to be the day of the magazine launch but she had refused to be in covenant with darkness.

Since Chari’s involvement with the business group she had nightmares night after night about being married.  As she approached the altar the scene would become ugly and the beauty of the place gave way to darkness with eerie creatures scampering about.  Finally, she could sleep in peace and continue her faithful steps toward one day owning her magazine company.

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“He Said…She said’

Like a well-oiled machine, benevolence ministry took off as Jala envisioned it.  She couldn’t help feeling a sense of accomplishment as volunteers filed in and issues were being passed on to the counselling department of the church.  She realized that the two ministries worked hand in hand. Jala oftentimes consulted with persons and heard their situations and then filtered them to the appropriate ministries.  Mrs. Lueth, Jala’s mentor, was training new persons in the counselling department only two doors down from the benevolence room.

Chari had laundered the clothes that came in, ironing and folding them neatly.  She had them well organized and almost looking new. Meanwhile, Jala handed out numerous packages to the poor and sought ways to extend the ministry to meet the needs.  Abe served passionately in his lane, linking men with local job opportunities with the help of Ephraim. Friday evening was the busiest evening for benevolence and this Friday the four friends were tired and hungry.

Pastor Pruitt had the hospitality department treat all the persons working in counselling and benevolence to finger-foods in the courtyard.   As they ate, a spontaneous discussion on marriage erupted and over 20 young adults were fully engaged. 

“I’m living my best life now and any man who can’t handle that, too bad!”

Knowing how passionate she can become, Jala wanted to stay as far as she could from the discussion, so she busied herself serving the food.

Abe could not resist, “So, your best life means everything done your way?”

“Why should she put her life on pause waiting for a man?” snapped Samantha, who had broken off a relationship with Abe years ago after letting him know he was not assertive enough in the relationship.

Ephraim, who had snuck in to hang some hooks Jala had asked him to install added, “It doesn’t sound like a man has any room to enter that ‘best life’.”

Gavin, known to be a sharpshooter, opined bluntly, “As a man, I find a lot of Christian women either too full of themselves or too desperate! Just sayin’.”

“Wait…wait now!” said Sister Becky, who had been married for years, trying to keep the conversation from escalating. 

Still, Gavin was not yet done.

“It’s true, if you give a woman a compliment, the next thing you hear is that she’s planning the wedding and you don’t even know!”

Jala managed to stay on the outskirts of the conversation until she heard Gavin’s statement.

“If men would stop intentionally leading women on,” started Jala with flared lips and hands on her hips, “yes, asking probing questions about the woman’s dream marriage after sweet-talking her on the phone every night only to find out he makes several of those calls and have several women dangling not knowing if he’s in a relationship with them. That’s the real problem!”

“Ohhhh!”  The courtyard exploded as persons were surprised that Jala called it out this way!

 “Well let’s talk about it!” Aunty Lu was glad to address the matter.  “I counsel many in this church with the same issues you all have brought up.  I must say the blame is shared as it concerns men leading women on and women being way too gullible.” 

Walking over to the women she added, “Women, I would suggest that you assume nothing of his intentions but a friendship until you are clearly approached.  At this time, you can consider if he is worth it.”

“If he is worth it!” shouted Cassandra as she sprang to her feet, pointing like a teacher to the other ladies. “Some of them are certainly not!  After spending so much effort on making yourself a class of a woman, why pick up an underpaid man?”

“So, a man is not a man unless he is making more than you, Cassandra? Now we are getting down to what matters to them, men!”

The men rose to their feet with rumbles of disagreement.

It was Aunty Lu to the rescue again.  She knows just how to balance firmness and kindness in the tone of her voice.

“Men and Women,” she said with hands raised, “how many of you agree that you both need each other?

The place was still, but not peaceful.

Ephraim stepped out from the men. “Mrs. Lueth, while we agree that we need the women, do you see the predicament us men face?  We are being discriminated against for not climbing the ladder of success as fast or faster than these godly women, not to mention if we are not as spiritually mature as they imagine we should be.  What is your advice to us?

“Before I answer your question Ephraim, let me ask how many women here would not consider courting a man if he is not as or more spiritually and financially grounded?

Some hands went up, while others did not.

Ephraim subtly glance over at Jala to see if her hand was up.  Jala’s arms were folded as she looked intently at Aunty Lu.

“Well Ephraim, now you can see that not all women think the same way.  The one you will marry will honour and love you despite where you are in your journey.  She will value the person you are and the one you are becoming.  Together you will be a rock for each other.

“Wow!” marvelled Ephraim. “Would it be ok to give you a hug?”

Aunty Lu gave him one of her healing hugs and Ephraim grinned.  A sober look was left on each face.

Chari shouted, “To be continued!”

Jala headed to the benevolence room to lock up after the discussion and Efraim was right behind her.

It puzzled him that his friend who he had come to accept as a stickler for an already made man…did not agree that a man must make more money than she does.

“I’ll get the windows,” Ephraim said, stepping in front of Jala to pull shut the two sliding windows.

“That was such a robust discussion.  It’s good to hear young people honestly express themselves.

“Your church doesn’t do that?” enquired Jala.

“Well, we’re probably not as open and down to earth as here. I’m surprised though at you.”

“At me?  What did I do again?”

The two headed down the corridor.

I noticed that you didn’t agree that a man must earn more than you to be a suitable mate.

“And that’s surprising to you?”

“Actually, yes!

“What else did you assume about me Ephraim?”

“Not much. I am just trying to get to know you lot and I was surprised that you’re not one of those women who would not even give a thought to an average guy. “

“Fraim, I’ve watched my mom struggle with us while our father roams the earth having more children and leaving them with no support. So, I don’t think less of my sisters who believe a man must really be put together well before he is an option.  I was like them and if I don’t keep my focus on the GOD who keeps me,

there go I.

“Wow! I never thought of it that way Jala. Maybe, I have assumed a lot. It seemed to me that you came from the perfect family and that’s why you’re so proper and well put together.  Jala laughed as they leaned against the car talking.

“You know….those perfect families you see getting into their cars after church.  As for me…I grew up without any of my parents.  It’s my sweet grandmother who raised me. Yea and she was amazing. Still I wondered what it would be like.

“At least I have a mom, gosh that must have been hard for you.

“The truth is grandma poured love into me and taught me a lot.  My father, her son, died in a freak accident when I was 3…I hardly remember him.”

“Fraim! Can I get a ride with you?” Chari came charging out of the building.  “Abe got caught up in another argument with Cassandra and Gavin. Imagine if we had a single’s ministry.  This is what it would look like? War!”

If you have missed the last 4 in the Church Girl Series…your in the right place…wifematerial.blog. Take a read and learn more about the jagged journey of these characters at a church near you.

(more…)

“There are three things that are too amazing for me,

    four that I do not understand:

¹⁹ the way of an eagle in the sky,

    the way of a snake on a rock,

the way of a ship on the high seas,

    and the way of a man with a young woman.

Prov 30:18-19

Mystified…the writer of this Proverb, Agur, admitted that he could not understand the way of a man around a woman.  I can imagine him watching the excited young man carefully carrying out his plan of wooing the lady.

It was a mystery to him, and he is not alone. 

I’ve got good news! Not to worry!  Read along…there are plenty of ways to decode the actions and words of the man and find out if he really loves you.

Are you even ready to know, though?

1.     Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks Lk 6:45

With the strong lead we could ascertain what’s in his heart from what he regularly speaks about or how he speaks to you.  What is it that he is saying?  Still, this is not enough to hang your heart on, since many men are known to be lyricists and can find the exact words to tickle your ears, creep into your heart and convince you.

We’ll have to do better…

2.     Where a man’s treasure is, there is heart is also. Mt 6:21

What does he do with his money and his time? Does he withhold them from you while using them for others? (Please note:  If you are not his wife, your bills are still your bills)

Giving is one of the most natural expressions of love in any relationship.  A man who loves you delights in giving from whatever he has.

3.     Speaking of treasures, does he discern your value? 

He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.

It is your value that he perceives and therefore resolves that you are good for him.  When he knows how valuable you are, his treatment of you will reflect it.  Don’t settle for less than that.

4.     Sacrifice… John 15:13  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…Eph 5:25

So you are now armed with information to help you discern the heart of a man who proposes that he really loves you. 

I thought he’d make me happy. We have such a chemistry.  Finishing each other’s sentence makes us know we were meant to be together.  It’s this…you know sweet connection, where he gets me and I so get him!  Everybody marvels at how we just…you know…connect!  It doesn’t hurt that he is so gorgeous and thinks I’m his perfect match.  He’s the hero who rescues me when I’m having an off day and makes everything just right!

There are times when I realize that he wants something different from what I want but…with a little persuasion…he comes right around.  He allows me to charm him way to easily, though.  I just love him!

Recently, I felt like something was wrong.  The wedding was literally everything I wanted and he looked amazing in his tailored royal blue suit.  It’s the look he had in his eyes as he watched me saunter down the aisle…it was as if I was the most beautiful creation he had ever laid eyes on.  I couldn’t help blushing repeatedly. 

His smile…

A rare occurrence lately.

We’re only a few months married, and he seems more meditative and removed.  I’m not sure what’s wrong, but I don’t feel happy. Why isn’t he making me happy?

To be honest, I too have become quiet to hide my disappointment.  We still laugh together but I don’t feel his effort to do everything in his power to make me happy.

What’s wrong in this story? I’m sure you saw some red flags. Here is one.

No one should carry the heavy weight of responsibility of making you happy.  They cannot bear it and they will eventually fail you.  Your true satisfaction comes from GOD.  He fills every void and makes you a joy-giver.  Without a real relationship with Jesus, you will seek to fill that void and be frustrated by man’s inability to do so.  The one who made you has everything you need and is more than willing to pour His perfect love into you when you sincerely ask.  Then you will be your best self in relationships, giving and receiving love. 

“Never place the gravity of marriage on the fickle frame of feelings.”

Tell me the Secret to a Great Marriage

Tell me your secret.  How do you have a great marriage?  If this answer were to be given in a nutshell, many would not want to crack it open.  After carefully observing that nut, one may deduce that it is too simple.  Another may say that it is much more complex than what meets the eye.  It is a mystery!  Surely if it were straightforward, everyone would rise to the occasion and enjoy the bliss of marriage.  The philosophical mind may say it is indeed simply complex.

What do I say?

I say it is simple!

Why?  The components of a great marriage are not hidden and are not unreachable but rather available to all.

The truth we do not care to hear is that the marriage we want will cost us more than we are sometimes willing to pay. 

What will it cost, you say?

Let’s consider just one aspect of marriage…your right to be right.  Sometimes our ultimate goal in a fight is to prove that we were right.  Soaking in that victory still does not give you the feeling you want.  To be right at any cost will leave you making an enemy of your greatest ally.  So, what should your goal be in a fight?  Let’s face it! There will be fights, but you must learn to fight right.

Your goal in a fight must be for the marriage to win!! I can’t state this enough! It’s quite likely that we were not taught to do so at any point in our development.  We have instead learnt to justify our reason for being right and provide evidence, as if in a courtroom, as to why the other person is wrong.  We pull out every proof we can find to make it abundantly clear that we are right!  Then we gloat and enjoy a short-lived moment of victory.  While you’re winning, your marriage is losing.  There is now a wedge that slides in between the two.  The two who are supposed to become one, now have a greater challenge in operating as a unit.  Over the years this practice creates a major dividing force that can eventually end in divorce.

Fighting right requires having the right motive in the first place and being willing to lay down the trophy of being right in order to understand the other person, while carefully protecting his or her heart. This translates to choosing the right tone, the right words and the right place and time to have this discussion.

Do you see why obtaining a flourishing marriage is within reach but many refuse to reach for it because it requires sacrifice?

So back to the question.  How do you have a flourishing marriage? A flourishing marriage requires self-sacrifice on both sides.

Jala was almost finished helping Mrs Lueth prepare for all the young adults who were coming over for fun and fellowship that Saturday afternoon. Mrs. Lueth’s house was big enough to accommodate several groups of young adults at the same time and she enjoyed having them over. Jala could hear Mrs. Lueth calling her softly as she finished cleaning off the kitchen countertop.

Jala sank into one of the plush brown outdoor chairs on the balcony, suspicious of what might be coming next.

“Auntie Lu, what’s going on?”

“Something’s been on my mind recently since you introduced me to that young man.”

“Oh dear!” Jala let out a sigh as she cuddled one on the cushions placing one hand under chin. “Do we really have to talk about Ephraim?”

“Aaah… we don’t have to talk about Ephraim, but we do have to talk about you. I’ve been praying for you, asking GOD what’s happening? Jala…You are in a series of reaction. I only wonder if you can see what you’re reacting to.”

Jala felt something in the pit of her stomach. This conversation has gone so deep so fast. She knew she could not be surface her answers to Mrs. Lueth. She was motherly with a dark chocolate complexion and pleasingly plump, with deep dimples that created apostrophes around her smile.

“Auntie, I don’t want to go back to where I’m coming from.” The tears started welling up in Jala’s eyes but Auntie Lue was not letting up. Her gentle countenance was most disarming, backed by her evident love. She folded Jala into a side hug which softly communicated that there was no getting away.

“You’re in quite a fight Jala. I see you waging a war against what started on the inside of you. When you end the war inside you’ll end the war outside.”

“These people hurt me! They dragged my name through the mud. Hardly any ever asked me to my face what happened. People I trusted spread lies about me and him. I’m still so embarrassed. I genuinely thought Jonathan loved me and was interested in being married to me. We got prophesies, Auntie!”

Jala was breaking and tears were flowing from her broken heart as she struggled to control her usually well guarded emotions.

“People said I slept with him! Oh my goodness Auntie. I felt like a church floozy! Me…a virgin!”

“It’s ok precious. It’s ok!” Auntie held her the more but Jala heaved until they were both on the tiled floor.

“Just let it out.”

“I never talked about it! I felt too ashamed. I messed up! I went too far with him. I could hardly talk to God after my repeated offence. Again I felt ashamed. Auntie….only to find out I was just one of the girls he was with in the church?

Her mouth opened with no words or sound, just tears. All this time Jala toughened up and blamed herself for being this foolish.

Auntie moaned alongside Jala like a midwife helping her to give birth.

“Let it out,” she comforted.

“It wasn’t even a month later he was engaged! I looked like I was trying break up their union…Auntie I wanted answers! Why did he choose me to make a fool of and why didn’t I see? How did I miss God?”

After many tears and snot, Mrs Lueth prayed her red hot fiery prayer for Jala, who was like a soaked handkerchief.

“You must forgive yourself Jala. You’ve repented for you part. Receive God’s forgiveness and freely give forgiveness to those who hurt you. The more you hold on to the pain, the less able you are to move forward. Your healing has started.”

Mrs. Lueth wiped her face.” Jala, remember that Ephraim was not there. He should not be punished for what others did.

“I knew that in my head. I felt I could not allow him to think for a moment that I was interested in him. I realized that I really enjoy his friendship once there was no threat of a relationship or others thinking there was.

Mrs. Lueth could hear the cars pulling into the cul de sac and got up to remotely open the gates from the balcony so that the early birds could park in the yard.

Walking back to Jala she added, “Don’t waste your energy trying to get people not to talk about you. My mother once told me, ‘Live free and let people be.'”

Jala quickly got off the floor, to fix up before everyone was inside the house. “Thank you Aunty Lue. I feel so light. Yes, and free!”

As soon as she disappeared in the bathroom, Chari’s loud voice filled the house.

“Auntie Lue, I smell something good!”

Abe and Ephraim followed behind carrying all the bags Chari gave them to take in the house.

“Hello my children,” Auntie did a dance coming down the stairs. She greeted them one by one and made effort to especially welcome Ephraim.

“Where’s Jala, Aunt?”

It’s been a hectic morning. She’s gone to shower.”

“So Ephraim I hear that you go to the Baptist Church not far from us.”

“Yes, mam,” answered Ephraim trying not to appear awkward while fighting the memory of his first introduction to Aunty Lue.

The three sat around the island in the kitchen, while Auntie Lue plastic wrapped the trays of food and chatted about her friends at the Baptist Church that Ephraim attends.

The bell rang again as Jala came into the kitchen greeting everyone and she grabbed the remote to open up from the balcony.

“Can I help you with anything,” asked Ephraim.

“Great, thank you. Ephraim, you take the igloo out to the balcony, Abe you get the ice from the deep freezer and Chari you come with me.”

As Ephraim headed to the balcony he hesitated as if he wanted to make a u-turn.

“Fraim, sang Jala, I’m so glad you came.”

“Really, cause I don’t want to embarrass you anymore.”

“You don’t embarrass me, but I’m embarrassed about my behaviour toward you. Could we please start over?

Jala extended her hand for a handshake.

“Nope,” Ephraim turned his back.

“But we can pick up from the where we left off in benevolence.”

Jala slowly breathed a sigh of relief, quickly shaking Ephraim’s hand.

“Friends,” they both agreed.

Auntie Lue glanced at them and gave out a “Thank you Jesus!”

Chari and Abe were just in time to create a huddle and a strong bond was formed.

Hey, we’re not done. More Church Girl Series coming. Tell us if you can relate these characters and scenarios. Jot us a line and be sure to share the story with friends. Thanks in advance!

For the past three months Ephraim worked assiduously setting in place the cupboard and shelves in the benevolence room, while Jala put her finishing touch on the space to make it warmer and more welcoming.  Looking around the large room she could see her goal of serving the poor with honor becoming a reality.  When she remembered what the benevolence ministry once looked like and what it is now, she felt a sense of accomplishment.  Her goal now is to get people serving in the ministry who share her heart for the poor.

It was easy for her to work with Ephraim after getting over the night of the explosion and the gossip that followed.  He understood what she wanted to accomplish in preserving people’s dignity while lending a helping hand.  He installed cupboards to store barrels of food in the most discreet ways, while creating partitions in the room.  Jala’s friend, Abe, shouldered up the responsibility of helping the men who came for benevolence, find jobs, by liaising with companies in the area. Jala had a way of prompting people to use their passion toward their purpose.  Abe had a serious problem giving to men who did not work or try to find a job.  He had his scripture verses to back it and would faithfully quote 2 Thes 3:10 If a man will not work, he shall not eat!

It was Friday evening and all the friends had gathered in the benevolence room chatting away.  Chari made her usual larger than life entrance with finger foods and drinks.

“Celebration, everyone!”

“Welcome, welcome Chari, the bearer of good food!” chimed Abe.

“What exactly are we celebrating,” asked Jala, confused.

“We are celebrating, silly, the completion and opening of the new benevolence room!”

“You’re right Chari.  We should celebrate!”

Abe wasted no time cranking up the music.

“Oh, by the way, Pastor Pruitt said to tell you that he will be dedicating it during second service on Sunday.  So, you know that all of us will have to be there.  He will be calling on us.”

“All of us?” queried Jala.  “Ephraim that’s your church time.”

Jala had mixed feeling about his attending even though the four of them had bonded together so much as they worked on the ministry. She was afraid of another round of gossip.

After being called to the front of the church and applauded for their work in benevolence, everyone came to greet them after church.

Mrs. Lueth, who had been like a mentor to Jala and a safe place for many young adults at the church, asked “Is this the Ephraim I have been hearing about?”

“I’m not sure Miss, but it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He reached out his hand with a grin and shook hers.

“Ephraim? No.  He just did carpentry work for us in benevolence. That’s all!”

Jala quickly looked at Ephraim, whose expression was immediately one of displeasure.

Many crowded around the benevolence area to see the changes, while Chari tried her best to recruit persons for the ministry.  Abe entered their information into his laptop as Chari brought them in.  Soon, Jala noticed Ephraim heading through the door. 

“Ephraim! You’re leaving?”

“Yes, I guess my job is done here.”

Both Chari and Abe joined them.

“Fraim, we’re meeting up over Jala’s house after this.  You’re coming, right?

“Aaaah, I’m not sure.”

Abe realized that something was wrong and pulled Ephraim aside to talk to him.

Jala knew she had finally offended Ephraim enough to get a reaction out of him.

As soon as Ephraim entered Jala’s apartment, he was like a pipe turn on.

“Listen, I don’t know how you all do Christianity, but it could be because I’m the youngest Christian among us.  I kinda thought others mattered and that everyone was someone. I’ve chucked a lot of things up to growing in GOD but I’m frankly tired.  It took everything for me to come here.”

“Wait, wait, wait man. What happen? I knew something went wrong at church but what happened?”

“I don’t know where to start. I guess there are many strikes against me and this friendship.  I’m trying to figure it out! I’m a new Christian.  I’m from another Church.  I’m the handyman!  All these factors put together make me “just the guy who worked in benevolence!” Should I be ashamed to be a carpenter or am I just out of your league?

“Wow! Oh my goodness! Ephraim we are all friends!  None of those things matter,” said Chari.  She looked at her dear friend Jala and saw guilt all over her face.

Ephraim continued, “No, I was so excited to see people my age living their Christianity and selflessly pouring into the lives of the poor, so I thought I had found my place.  Somehow, I keep feeling like I’m an embarrassment just for existing.  First, I tried to help Jala come out of the dark building when she hurt her ankle and she was ashamed that I did so. Confusing! After that I was treated weird, and at a distance for some time, and just when I feel like I’m making friends, this morning she introduced me to her mentor as an insignificant handy boy. No, you didn’t call me that…but that’s what it felt like. I’m sorry! I can’t do this!

Ephraim headed to the door.  Abe ran in front of him blocking the door with his 6 ft 4 frame. 

“Fraim, give us a chance to talk this out.  We heard you and we understand where you’re coming from.

Finally, feeling forced to speak and yet afraid Jala spoke up.

“I’m sorry Ephraim.” She could hardly look him in the face. “It’s not your fault and the truth is that you don’t deserve any of this.  I just have some issue to deal with and ever since you came around, they’ve been surfacing one after the other.”     

“So, what is it, Jala?”

I can’t say right now, but it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Please forgive me.”

“Let’s eat guys,” said Chari, breathing a sigh of relief and quickly setting everything at the table to make everyone comfortable.

She walked into the kitchen and motioned for Jala to join her. As soon as she was close enough, she whispered, “I told you you’ve got to get some counselling!”

Wouldn’t you agree that Jala has some deep seated issues to confront? Stick with us for all the upcoming confrontations.

We crave your feedback and would love to hear what you’d like to say to these characters.

Chari had the bad habit of knocking while attempting to open Jala’s apartment door. 

“Jala!  You knew if you didn’t answer the phone I’d be coming over.” She knocked again impatiently and twisted the doorknob.

Eventually, Jala came to the door not saying a word.  Chari came in with food in hand and proceeded to the kitchen counter to share it out.

“I stopped by benevolence after work, and they said you didn’t come by…Sunday you slipped out just before church ended.  What’s going on, Jala?”

“I’m just trying to lay low and get these folks off my back.  Ever since the gas station explosion and Ephraim helped me out of the building, I can’t get these people off my back! I wouldn’t be surprised if they were planning our wedding.”

“You take things too seriously, Jala. I would not care one iota if it were me.  No! None of them would have anything to say to me.  I would play with them and give them something to talk about when I turn my back.”

Chari laughed as she created scenarios to provoke the nosy church folks.

The two friends sat eating at Jala’s small round dining table.  A flowery pendant light hung just above their heads.  Chari knew her favourite Chinese dishes and sought to use food to get pass Jala’s walls.  Canton Kitchen served the best kung pao chicken and noodles and they were near Jala’s apartment.

“On a serious note, though Jala, I think you are still reacting to the embarrassing situation you went through with Jonathan almost four years ago.”

“Oh no, you don’t! Chari, is that what you’ve come here for, to drag up my past and make me a counselling case?”

“Relax! We’ve been best friends longer than you and I can remember, so I think I should be able to point out a little trauma in my bestie’s life.  Jonathon was a colossal mess!  With his high tenor voice and pretentiousness, he had half the ladies in the church convinced he only had eyes for them.  He sounds like one of the beasts in Revelation with eyes everywhere.  He lured you into his web!”

“Ok, I was an idiot!

“No way!  You’ve got to let that go and forgive yourself.  The guy was like Solomon without the wisdom.  Many women fell for him.”

“Why couldn’t I see that he was not interested in me? I was an idiot! A man who does not want to be seen in public with you, ignores you at church but calls you the moment you reach home to express his undying love, should raise many red flags. But, not to me he didn’t.  I was smitten despite your caution.  Well, no need to repeat that situation!  I’ll make sure of that.”

“Girl, at the sound of things, you are not about to let any other man in.”

“Look at you!  You’re a genius!” exclaimed Jala finally laughing.  She felt empowered and in control.

“Oh, speaking of not letting another man in…guess who I saw when I stopped by the benevolence room?  Ephraim. He was asking me for you.”

“Pastor Pruit must have let him in to work.  I was so into my selfish slump I didn’t remember I was supposed to open up for him.

Jala suddenly stopped and looked at her friend.  “You weren’t thinking that I had interest in Ephraim too?”

“Oh, no!” snapped Chari with both hands in the air. “I would never assume that you would even consider a handsome, mannerly carpenter of a man!  No doubt he has no degree!”

Chari continued with great sarcasm.  “After all, of what use is a man like that!”

“Firstly, I don’t know a thing about him.

“Secondly, even if did, I would not like to be in a relationship.

Thirdly, I could not take a carpenter home to meet my mom! So, let that set your mind at ease.”

 “Jala, I knew all your numbers from one to three already. We’ve been here many times.  I know…he’s a pleasant guy though.”

“Yea, I agree.”

“By the way, I gave him your number.”

“What?”

“You said he was a nice guy!  He wanted to check up on you and find out how your ankle was doing.  He said from he dropped you off that night he never heard another word from you even though he gave you his number for you to call if you needed help.

“Precisely, I didn’t need help! I still don’t!”

“Ooooo, so edgy Jala!”

Jala sighs and admitted that poor Ephraim was not deserving of this harshness nor this situation in which he was involuntarily placed.

“To be honest, Jala, Ephraim is a wonderful human and we had a great time chatting.  I can see us being good friends.”

“Wow, that’s big of you!  We know he wouldn’t make it to the husband list because he’s a carpenter. Still, I’m impressed that he is worthy of friendship.”

There’s a knock on the door and Chari wastes no time parting Jala’s damask patterned curtains to see who’s outside.

“Speaking of forever friend zone,” she whispered loudly to Jala.  “Hello Abe!”

 Jala dramatically flung the door open freezing in a grinning pose.

“Oh, I forgot you live here.  Hi Jala,” he said, passing Chari to hug Jala.

“Hey Abe.  Why didn’t you tell me you were coming by?”

“Jala, you don’t answer your phone and besides, you may say no.  What are friends for!”

“Indeed, what are some friends for?” chimed Chari looking at Abe. Their friendship has been much like this. 

“So where is your new friend, Jala?” inquired Abe, who is known for his blunt and unfiltered communication.

“You know about Ephraim too?”

“Of course, not because I play the drums mean I don’t hear what’s going on.  I hear that you and him have been an item for some time now.  I’m just wondering how I didn’t hear about him as your dear friend who you love, by the way!”

“Here we go!” shouted Jala jumping from her chair. 

Chari’s eyes opened wide. “Do tell Abe!”   

“Do tell what! You already know the truth.  I met the guy moments before the gas station explosion.  That’s what you get when you go to a small church and everybody knows everybody and tries to marry you to anybody!”

“What does this remind you of? This was what happened when Jonathan was found out after leading all these young ladies on…including our dear Jala,” added Abe.”

“That is what it feels like! People nosing into my business and assuming a lot.  That’s why I keep myself to myself.  I hope God gives me a husband who is from a different church! 

No one calls to find out the truth but continues to talk and build lies.”

As if on cue, Jala’s phone rings.

Jala sighs.

“It’s condescending Connie from core.

“Hi Connie, how are you?”

“Hi Jala, I didn’t see you at core yesterday so I just call to check on you.”

“Actually Connie, I’ve been missing core for almost a month, but thanks for calling I’m fine.

Yes, I did hurt my ankle, but the swelling went down.”

• 

Yes…It was lovely of the gentleman to help.”

Both Chari and Abe were laughing uncontrollably at Jala, who was trying to maintain her cool.

No soon as Jala came off the phone with eyes rolling.  It rang again.

“Seriously Connie!”

“Let me answer her,” shouted Chari.

Jala looked down at her phone wondering who was calling.

“Let me answer!” Chari snatched the phone from Jala.

“You’ve reached the number of Jala McKnight, how can I help you?”

“Aaah…Jala?”

“Oh no! Just a minute.”

She motioned for Jala to get to the phone quickly while Abe whispered, “Who is it?”

“Hello Ephraim?”

The story began in Part 1 of the Church Girl Series. Look out for Part 3 soon. Find out how Jala confronts her deep rooted issues…including the meddling saints.